No More Old Daycare

So, a very difficult decision needed to be made recently, one that has kept me up nights -- but we made it, and it is done.  James will not be returning to our long time daycare this coming year for his final year of Pre-K.  It was so super sad.  But it is done, and now I need to move on.  But before I do - if I question myself again, here was the rationale:

I wasn't trying to move.  I had not contacted a place in 4 years.  We had put Joel Andrew on the wait list for the PEA daycare before I went back to work - before I even knew James would be arriving!  We found long time daycare and that was that.  A few years later, after there was a James, PEA daycare called to update their wait list, and I added James.  That was that, I never heard from them again.  And, I never sought to either.  Until a few weeks ago. PEA daycare called, there was an opening.  A year ago I would have never entertained it.  This year, with just James in daycare, somethings happened that made me question things.  And, so I listened to the new daycare place, went in for an interview, cried when I handed over the deposit check, but know it was the right decision, and here is why:

Joel loved his experience at old daycare.  He stayed there from 14 months all the way through Pre-K, and had a great experience his last year there.  More than great.  He loved every minute of it.  He had a wonderful class, and I still believe this is why he and his BFF Laurel are so tight.  His teachers were so great for him - he had just the right amount of structure, and just the right amount of fun.  He learned a ton, loved going to school each day, and loved everyone at school.  At the end of the year, they had an amazing graduation for him, and handed us notebooks they had been working on the whole time.  Years and years and years of photos of him growing up in their care.  We will always treasure this.

James was there this entire time as well.  His class looked like it was also going to be a special one, but then one by one kids started dropping out.  It was changing.  His class was down to five.  He loved daycare, too.  But still gets clingy at drop off.  His teachers love him there so much, and we all worked together very well to correct any issues he may have with discipline, or anything really.  He has had a great experience there.

But, after Joel was gone, I noticed a kind of emptiness at the school.  Our babysitter - who worked there for years -- left for another place.  Separately, over the past year I learned of the teacher's pay, and it kinda scared me - how could they make so little?  The director left (again, third new director since we have been there, in 4 years) -- and when the newest director came on board - she didn't introduce herself to me except when to tell me that they lost all of the money I had given them for a fundraiser.  That was her first words, her second sentence was: "so, if you can get me the money again, we'll get you your stuff."  You can imagine how that impressed upon me.  But Husband brought up a greater point: Where did the money go?  Aren't they concerned someone in their midst, who is watching our children, took it?  They did not seem concerned about that one.  And that was almost enough for me to call around, but I still didn't.

Because, there are some really great teachers at this daycare.  They are spread out one per classroom now, except for Pre-K, which we were looking forward to.  Many of the great teachers have left over the years - and the newer teachers, all seem to look about 16 and do not interact with adults/parents.  None of them introduced themselves to me, now acknowledge me when I arrive.  There are the drop offs, where I come into a room with one long time teacher, looking so tired -- and two newbies, just sitting in corners with crying babies on their laps.  I called my husband 2-3 times this year wondering if I should even leave James there.  The next time I left him I told him to just be helpful to your teachers, and he was.

This winter in the building where I leave my kids, water streamed in from the ceilings and was left unattended for weeks until I wrote a formal complaint. I was told they are in an office park, and it was a bad winter.  It was, I get it.  But -- this is a place that has babies.  This clearly should be the priority, right? It wasn't, until I wrote a letter.  Water stains still remain on the ceilings and I never once saw a carpet pulled back, though fans circulated over the surface of them, inches from toys, for weeks.

The doors were never locked, anyone could get in at anytime, and offices were directly above the stairs.  After the shooting in Ct I tearfully asked the teachers what is the evacuation plan -- and a dear teacher said she would grab the kids and run, I believe her.  But terrifying.

I don't mean to bad mouth the place -- for the sole reason there are a handful of teachers still there that I love so much, my sons were safe, and really loved there.  My kids manners were thought of, and these teachers (the ones that I grew to know over time) were amazing.  They truly embraced our kids and worked with us to ensure they were happy, and growing well and being respectful.

The worst part, my complaints-- & the other noise in the background-- would likely be irrelevant next year if James were to stay.  The Pre-K stays to Pre-K, and the two teachers there are longtime ones that our family has grown to love.  New Daycare does not have a solid Pre-K curriculum, and is blended with 3 and 4 year olds - I'm not sure how this will go with James.  New Pre-K does not do a notebook of progress all year long, does not have a graduation.  Will this be ok?  New Pre-K does not have Robin and Heather.  I am terribly upset about this.  Will it have enough structure for James?  Will it help him make a jump to Kindergarten for next year?  Or is this the best thing for James?  Joel thrives on structure, rules, and is constantly intrigued by learning and getting to the next level.  James is a bit more laid back, maybe this environment is good for him?  The owner of this new facility is arguably the best prep school in the entire country, and services all of the staff at this school - I have to believe they know what they are doing?

The new place is immaculate.  No one wears shoes.  Each parent needs a key card to get in.  There are multiple rooms and the playground has sand and wood chips, not dirt, for a base.  There are toys that haven't been donated or handed down.  And, when we showed up they (the kids and the teachers) were making waffles from scratch, with the kids.  Old daycare reheats french toast sticks.  Again, I am not bashing old daycare for what it was, I really do think it is clearly a price tag issue here.  You cannot put a price tag on the love old daycare's teachers felt for my kids.  The care and attention they gave them, the friendships we formed. That was priceless.

But, for this last year, we are going to try something different.  James will be right across from my office.  He will be the BMOC, and he will be an official student of PEA.  We will be paying double what we did before. He will get fancy toys, and be in a fancy facility, and doing fancy things, just 50 feet from my office. And, I will be continually heartbroken about missing out on old daycare, and graduation, and pre-K teachers.

BUT, I will need to stop loosing sleep over this.  Because.  Joel Andrew had a wonderful experience at Old Daycare, he loved it, and will always have that experience.  We got to know many of these wonderful teachers, and we will go and visit and each time we drive by that area we will always be happy to say that is where the boys went when they were little.

This is James' turn to try something different, and in the end this was James' decision.  We brought him to New Daycare, and he was sold.  I am sure part of the immediate decision making was the pretty place, but also the fact that James had not been to old daycare for weeks, since we take him out every summer anyway.  Alas, here we are.  Decision has been made.

Now James is onto Pre-K.  At PEA.  I hope they are prepared! And, I hope my board member who also happens to be the PEA vice-Principal knows he is going to need to stand and take a photo shaking my son's hand in a cap and gown next spring, I will make a graduation, dammit!

Captain Hook is in the Toilet

This is not a good sentence to hear if you are a parent - not necessarily a bad thing to hear - but not your favorite thing.  Last week this is what we heard as Joel husband, Joel Andrew and I were getting ready for bed in Joel Andrew's room when James walked in.  He uttered these exact words. We were a bit worried which Captain Hook, as he has a large stuffed animal one as well as a small figurine.  

Joel husband went into the bathroom, and noted: "yep, Captain Hook is in the toilet." As we stood above the figurine sunk down below, Joel Andrew swooped in and stuck his arm in the toilet and got Captain Hook right out.  Awesome.  A four year old, with toilet water all over his hands. At least Captain Hook was now safe.

As I was washing the toilet water off my eldest hands, my youngest began to try and sit on the potty, all the while missing the seat and getting his entire leg in the potty.  Proceed screaming.  It was a fun, and potty water filled evening.

Franklin Park Zoo

Today we went to the Franklin Park Zoo.  Never mind the bombing in Boston on Monday, we were going to the Zoo, dammit.  We met with all of our friends from Historic New England Education crew that Mommy formerly worked with.  It was good time, though Mommy didn't harass them nearly enough about how Mommy can be educational in her new job.

The Zoo was packed with families of all shapes and sizes, it is Mass school vacation week after all.  But it was ok, Mommy still got a got parking space, and we still saw all of the animals, and without huge school groups shoving around.

We of course saw the Gorillas, and the Tigers and the Lions.  And then we were distracted by the Merry-Go-Round, which everyone loved.  We had a nice picnic lunch where James stayed stationery for almost 8 minutes (!), and then were completely distracted by the new playground they have there that is on steroids.  Like, complete crazy playground.  Little remenants of the playground were all over the Zoo - so I am not sure what kind of grant this is that they received, but it is crazy.  I had to tell James and Joel explicitly before we stepped into the playground that they were only allowed in the 2-5 zone.  The 5-12 zone is crazy, like for adults.  I can just now imagine the fundraising party they had to open this site, and the drunk 80 year old adults climbing the structures and sliding down.

We parted ways with our friends and on the way out (we always park by the Giraffe entrance, which is the best if you are there early) we decided to go into the bird house.  This was a mistake, if you have a stroller, for sure.

And now, my piece on the bombing.

Everyone needs to say their peace, you can see it all over the news and facebook, and in daily conversation.  "I know someone who knew someone, etc."  A few things strike me.  Out of all the thousands and thousands of people who were there, 3 were terribly, horribly murdered.  But it was 3.  We are so lucky that the vicious people (person) who came up with this idea was relatively small scale in his horror.  But, we cannot downplay the importance of life and three is three too many.  Not to mention an 8 year old.  I still cannot bring myself to understand how this family can possibly cope with their loss.

That being said, besides the loss of life and the injuries to almost 200 more, it is also the injury to the psyche of a population.  People who now for the next few months will be slightly freaked to go on public transportation, visit a public place, worrying about what maybe in that trash can over there, and doesn't that person look suspicious, and where is the nearest fire exit.

After living in NYC during 9/11 and after, I spent countless hours worried about this.  Holding my breath in the subway tunnels, always planning my escape route in restaurants and at work.  It was sad, unnecessary and exactly what the terrorists wanted.  I am not doing that this time, even with two little guys with me.  Hence, we went to the Zoo today.  I am not going to lie, lunching next to two enormous trash cans made me think twice, but in reality, it was wonderful to see the place filled with families - no one was scared, everyone was out to have fun, to live life.  This terrorist lost.  I am so happy to be more confident, more secure, and more at home now than ever before. I can say that I am not scared of them. And, from the looks of it today, neither are any of the people who live in or frequently visit Boston.