Holidays at the Williams Household

This year will forever be marked as the busiest holiday season ever for the Williams family.  As I type this I interrupt myself in order to get ready for a grand bash - the last of many that have recently occurred - at our house tonight.  The Kings, Solsos, Lindstroms and McCrensky-Hardings will all be descending upon the house tonight which means 9 children and 8 adults all sleeping under one roof.  It will be plenty a good time.

But before we got to this point we had our first ever kindergarten friends party on Christmas Eve Eve.  We invited a few of the friends from Joel's class over - some of them knew each other well and some of them were all new.  I put out a grand spread and we had Taylor in the basement with the kiddos as the rompered around.  Taylor was quickly terrified, and then we put on a movie.  Things were tame upstairs, so tame in fact that I even remarked - normally by this point in the evening we have drunk people.  Maybe it is because we are playing holiday music, and not rap music, I remarked.  Fast forward 20 minutes from that moment and children were dancing wildly on the ping pong table while parents played darts just a few feet away.  Not our proudest parenting moment - but all were safe, and all had a great time.  We quickly let go of Taylor - who had remarked: "My parents always had parties like this…"  And many stayed until 10pm.  It was a good party, hope to replicate something like it in the summer when we can fit more people inside.  Maybe an annual Christmas Eve, Eve tradition?  Who knows?

On Christmas Eve the Williams and the Perkins made it and then Christmas Day the Halls came.  It was special to have everyone around for the first time in a number of years - and especially for Lucie's first Christmas.  Of course there were way too many presents, but we had the garbage and recycling thing down pat.  The boys really enjoyed all of Santa's presents but it of course got to them.  Joel whined he kept wanting to open more and more and all I could think about is that we were making the world's largest brat.  But, alas.

It took us all day to open all the presents we had and even at the end we kept finding others that we forgot to give to one another.  It really is a bit ridiculous, but all of us participate so what can you do?  The boys seemed genuinely thankful at the end of the day.

We were off to Sunday River for a long weekend, and now we are here for tonight.  I was able to settle some things at work - and finally come to the conclusion of what my museum needs, which is terrifying and not going to make me relax for 2015…  But, I shall not worry about that tonight.  I shall go straighten my hair and then kiss my boys and party like it is 1999.

My Son Wants to be a Police Officer

(From something I wrote a few days ago, but didn't publish until now)

Joel Andrew told me the other day, when he grows up he wants to be a police officer.  Then he told me it is because they say what is right and what is wrong and they can't get in trouble.

To lighten the mood -- before you all think I am going there --, and not allude immediately to Ferguson or anything else, let me tell you this was in response to me, having been pulled over a few months ago for speeding.  The kids were in the car and have never forgotten it, and like to bring it up a ton.  When they do bring it up I always suggest:  Mommy was doing something wrong, and the policeman noticed and was helping.  He was helping to make sure I didn't do anything unsafe. We are glad he talked to Mommy that day.  (PS Mommy never got a ticket, and was very nice to said officer.  As you should be.  Always.)

But, it troubled me, because how should I respond?  I have so many people on Facebook who are so passionate, either side right now.  And it bugs me.  And now my child is unwittingly asking me about this too.  And, how do I respond?  Why does it bug me - everyone's opinion on Facebook?  You can probably guess.  But, as I am writing this here for my children, a time capsule for them to read - and who knows, 20 years from now I might read this and not like it - but this is why.  All my friends who have husbands, sisters, children in the police force are uncontrollably upset over this entire situation.  And then I have other friends who are siding with those who are shutting down highways, killing police officers, and making it about them.

Ok, yes, that was an inflamed comment there.  And, I probably just lost a ton of friends by saying it.  But for my time capsule's sake, I did.  It is a true observation. Most people, like myself previous to this post, are not saying anything - and that is the right approach.  How can you comment on something you do not know or understand?  If there is anything I can pass onto my kids from this, it is that.  If you do not know or understand it, don't comment on it. 

I do not know or understand what it is like to be a police officer.  I have a job - where I have remarked on many different accounts - where no one dies if I do something wrong (or if they do, it was a freak accident).  I am not a surgeon, I am not a paramedic, I am not a police officer.  I go to work every day worrying about will I raise enough money?  Will the roof cave in?  Will someone try to steal something?  These are real worries, but at the end of the day - even if these things happen, it will all be ok.  

I do not know what it is like to be on the fringe of society.  I am law abiding.  I work hard and meet challenges head on.  I whine, I complain, I am very lucky.  But I do everything (almost) to a T.  If I drink too much, I do not drive.  If I can't afford something, I do not buy it, and I won't steal it.  But I am also lucky.  I do not know what it is like to not have a next meal in mind.  I am planning fifteen meals ahead, and sometimes 15 meals from now I am anticipating a $160+ tenderloin roast or a $80+ wine bottle in a restaurant.

So, who am I to comment?  

I'm a Mom of someone who may or may not be a white police officer. I am a friend to many who are married to police officers.  Oh, and I live here too.

I am not sure about each situation, and so I cannot speak to it.  Why, or why not the police officers were indicted in specific incidents is beyond me, but I have to hope that our system is checking that.  To say that our system is broken because people do not like the way it worked out in 1-5% of the occasions is not ok.  

One of my friends (on Facebook), who has a husband for a police officer, posted that every 58 hours a police officer is killed, and what is done about that?  Perhaps that is why I feel so strongly here.  In our little area of the seacoast of NH, which is 98.9% white, I have learned about two police officer murders in the past 2-3 years.  This is a ton.  There are less than 2,000 people in my town, and one of them killed an officer before he killed himself in James' little lifetime.  Perhaps because they were both white this is not in the national debate, but it should be.

Imagine going to work everyday, worrying about if this car you pull over will be the one that ends your life.  Makes your spouse and children without.  Imagine being out on patrol, and trying to distinguish whether someone is going to use deadly force, or not.  What's the difference between a friendly slap and a deadly take down?  Yes - do not use outlawed techniques - but what if a repeat offender, who is towering over you, weighs twice as much of you, is arguing with you loudly?  What would you do to ensure you are going home to your family?  I don't know.  I will never know.  I cannot judge.

All I can do, is if a police officer pulls me over, follow the rules.  Do not argue.  Listen to him and do as he says.  If I do that, I have to hope it will be ok.  And it has been for me.  I'm not sure why - maybe it is because I am white, and I am privileged, or maybe it is because I am slightly terrified/yet thankful/yet concerned when a cop pulls me over or speaks to me.  Maybe it is that respect. That they noticed I was doing something wrong, and that they are here to make sure I do things right. 

I cannot imagine the many thousands of police officers that do have the community's best interest at heart.  The two that were sitting unwittingly in their police cruiser just a few hours ago.  I am sheltered, yes - but I think they were there, innocent bystanders, doing their jobs.  Vs, other criminals who were not.  This is not a race thing.  This is a right vs. wrong thing.  And, I know that many, many people who were right were probably injured because too many people who were wrong fought back and did not listen.

I hope these communities can heal, and the only way I can see this happening is if those on the opposite side of the law - those who steal, sell illegal things, run from authority, stop.  Stop, and join the fight.  Be the ones that stand up for your community. Not by shutting down highways, but by being those brave people that are the ones that put their lives on the line every.singe.day. to uphold the law.  Be the ones that arrest those who are doing wrong.  Be the ones in that situation where you have to worry if your family will ever see you again.  Not because you are doing something wrong, but because you are doing something right.  If this happens, then we all win.  Then, the people who are always doing something right but get hurt because they reached for their wallet at the wrong time, won't get hurt.  Then, we might be a better society.

So, if my son wants to foster a better society, he should.  And, world - we have 15 or so years to make sure this society is better and will not judge him for saving his own life, while upholding the law, while being white.

First Holiday Concert

I am not old enough to go to my child's holiday concert. This cannot be. This is my first thought as I sit in the audience last night while watching Joel - front dead center sing Rudolph with all of his little kindergarten friends. The second thought is we will have 11 years of this. 

Other thoughts include first graders are a lot taller than kindergarteners. I wonder what instrument each of the boys will pick in school band. Why is there no school orchestra? And, whose idea is it to keep Kindergarteners in this excited atmosphere way past their bedtime?  Our high school auditorium is super-super small…  Do I just remember my high school auditorium as bigger than what it really was?

Since work has been nuts - in hopefully a setting me up to be more calm next year way - but it is year end, and I am trying to hire two new people - and rebuild a website - and get the gifts in - and build a new budget - and finish a strategic plan - and plan a calendar for next year and more and more…  I have been a bit absentee on the home department this week.  And as such, these images are taken from another mom and not me.  Here's to a community of everyone pitching in and helping out!

Jamesisms

Some recent James Speak:

When you try to help him build Legos, but you do it wrong:

"Mommy, that maybe might be the right way?"

When you are watching the Swedish Chef:

"Mommy, What's the Cooker-Man doing?"

When he needs to get dressed in the morning but his room is dark:

"Mommy, Can you Shut the Light On?"

(no amount of correcting him with this one has stuck yet.)

I am sure there are more.  I shall add them as they come to me.

My Polite Man

So, he took a brief hiatus during the month of November - but my polite man is back.  I just went to the school to pick him up from his 1/2 day (there are a lot of 1/2 days here…) - we walked through the school to get to the book fair and he said hello to every adult there.  Not just said hello, but used their names and sad so loudly and with confidence.  So incredibly cute, and so incredibly good.  I told him I was super proud, and he responded with a simple, and confident "Yup."

My great boy is going to be helping me to set up for my work event tonight, but not before I take him to lunch.  He is dressed to the nines, with his tie and button down shirt, his nice plaid hat - but he is wearing his revolutionary solider t-shirt underneath.  He is ready.

I love, and I missed my sweet little guy.  Let's hope he keeps this up.  Could it be the Elf on the Shelf who is doing this?  I chose to think no...

Candle Gazing

Joel Andrew just came into my room.  He found Elf on the Shelf.

"But do you know what else I found, Mommy? the plastic candles that we do candle gazing with in Yoga."

Now there is a sentence I never thought I would hear.  From a 5 Year Old.  Boy.  Candle Gazing and Yoga in public elementary school.

Only in NH!

tree decorating

Tonight we decorated the Christmas tree.  This is the most epically large Christmas tree you have ever seen.  It is huge.  It towers over our entryway hall, and is as tall as our chandelier.  And, tonight my 3 and 5 year old helped us to decorate it.  We gave them the "unbreakable ornaments" and they stuck to the bottom rungs of the tree, which is pretty funny seeing as the tree is 12 feet tall.  But, we are going with it this year.  It is all part of the fun.  Even the snowman on top is going with the spirit by hanging slightly to the left.  Or right, depending on where you view from.

It is a big tree, it is oddly decorated, and we have the whole family coming for Christmas this year, not to mention a ton of friends for New Years Eve.  I am really, really looking forward to the holidays this year.  Now, if I can just get our holiday book done!

Holidays are Coming

Well, Thanksgiving is already gone, and Christmas and New Years are coming.  It seems like no matter how much I do to prepare ahead, there is still more and more left to do this year.  I am exhausted.  But the boys are ready to go.  The more Mom and Dad do, the more bored they get…  I better come up with something to keep them occupied and happy soon!

We did get the largest Christmas tree on record.  We have three trees up again this year.  I did get almost all of my holiday shopping done, 1/2 the presents are wrapped, the cards are almost in the mail, the outside lights are done and up, things are all happening and in the works and yet I still feel so behind.  I need to make my photo book.  That is always a big bug.  Maybe if I get that done…  But right now only 1/2 presents are wrapped, the big tree is not decorated, there are a few things still coming, I need to get teacher and volunteer gifts, on and on and on.  Must stop.

Today is yet another Mommy-Jamesy day, and I have spent a lot of the morning on the computer and then pretty soon will be dragging him on errands.  This makes me so sad, we should be having fun!  Maybe we will go to the arts place and make some awesome Christmas gifts.  Three birds there…

Hoping the holidays clears up in a bit, because I am exhausted!