Dear Our Teacher (bullying)

Hello Mrs. Middleton,

I hope you are not reading this - this weekend, and are enjoying a nice weekend off.  I am writing now because it is top of the mind only and not because I expect a response even before Monday evening.

Joel has been loving kindergarten, he comes home every day happy and animated and will not stop talking about the days events.  I have learned that he has changed tables from Laurel and Avery to Eddie, McKinley and Meghan.  Do you know why that is?  Maybe it was good to have Joel and Laurel both branch out, I know at least in the Joel side he would always only be with Laurel if he had a choice!  But I do want to check in to see what happened there, is there a specific reason why Joel was moved?

We totally hit the "kindergarten wall" a few weeks ago.  A member of my Museum's Board of Directors, Bob took me aside to tell me at an event just a few nights before, and told me that Joel would soon be hitting the Kindergarten Wall.  I listened to him and said we will be ready!  Then, it happened.  The newness had worn off, the routine had set in and the largeness of the whole school thing had hit him.  He came home each day still animated, but tired.  By dinner he was teary, and asking for bed.  At bedtime, which had moved up considerably at his request, he would seem burdened and heavy.  Upon further inspection, he was just "overwhelmed."  Glad he knows that word!  This lasted a week.

In other news, and the true reason for my email today… my heart has been breaking each day for the past few days as Joel tearfully tells me that he is having a hard time on the bus.  The exact quote that he said to me, through my, many tears last night was: "I asked everyone to share a seat with me on the bus and no-one would."  After posting this on Facebook, because how else to you deal with your emotions these days, many agreed this is pretty much the saddest thing ever.  My boy is awesome.  He is kind, and sensitive and optimistic.  This is ruining all of this, and ruining it all too soon.  WTF, Man?  who are these hooligans on the bus?  What are they doing to this awesome kindergarten boy?  He is not the smelly kid!

Further inspection with Joel Andrew elicited the information that brothers - one of which is in his class and one of which is older and should know better - tease him.  They pinch him, they call him a "bad man"  I find this insulting and ridiculous on a number of fronts.  My son is not yet a man.  And, tag teaming him?  Really?  Who are these people?  I would think they were the O'Doyles (Billy Madison reference there) - except I met the mother, when I hosted her in my house a few nights ago and she seems incredibly nice and reasonable and that she would shutter (shudder, your the teacher, correct me) if she ever knew this happened.  So, what do I do, what to we do?  How can this happen when my guy is 5 years old?  He is awesome!  We live in a school district with a total of 250 students, K-8.  How can this happen?

I am sad. I am upset. I am handling this much worse than my 5 year old.  But I am somewhat grateful that my boy is the boy that would never do this.  Please let me know what we should do. He doesn't deserve this at all.

Julie

Lucie Theresa

On Saturday my beautiful 10 pound and 7 oz niece was born.  Lucie Theresa.  First name works with her Mommie's, Jennie.  Middle name for her great-grandmother who passed away in July.  Within minutes of entering the world she was greeted by her family with so much love.

I am so excited to be a real Aunt!  And, cannot wait to spoil her.  I will be her godmother too!  Lots of fun years ahead.

When we were planning Jennie's shower I pulled together a list of advice from fellow Moms, which I paste altogether below. The goal was that the Mom would write their note of advice to Jennie, and then sign it with the name of their child, birth year, and place the child grew up. (if you gave me advice, and I have your kids wrong, let me know!).  I wrote each of these sentiments on a different sticky, and put it in one of the board books we had from my boys.  The goal is she will read the book to her little one, and read the sticky to have a boost of energy too.

Here is hoping for a long, beautiful, happy and healthy life for this little lady who really is so, so blessed!

Collect take-out menus --- only from places that deliver!  Julie, 1979 NJ

My husband always yelled "safe" and did the baseball sign every time one of our kids took a digger instead of picking them up and cuddling them.  They'd just get up, brush off and keep going.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Bandaids and popsicles can fix nearly every and any boo boo! Bandaids are like magic with our girls.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Our secret weapon during a kid freakout was just taking a crying kid outside.  The change in temperature and scenery instantly distracted them.  Right out the front door. Worked every time. Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we’ve learned, to our sorrow.  So quiet down cobwebs; dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”  Ignore those dishes soaking in the sink and soak up every moment with your sweet little girl instead!  You’re doing great!! XO  - Grace, 2014 CT

When you feel like your not doing things right, just remember he/she is new at this too. There is no wrong way to do things only what works for you and your new bundle. And what works today may not work tomorrow. Enjoy every moment because it flies by so fast!! - Abigail 2007, Joshua 2010, Benjamin 2013 MA

Everyone will tell you to "sleep when baby sleeps" but sometimes it feels even better to stay up and watch baby sleep. - Dustin, 2014 FL

Your spouse and other caregivers will not do things exactly as you do them and that's okay. Always trust your instincts and definitely sleep train.  - Ned & Penny, 2008 and Josephine, 2012 TX

When the baby has a blow out diaper do not pull the onsie over the head take the onsie down...  My hubby did not know what the purpose of the slanted arm holes were for and took the onsie up and over while changing Luke while we were out for dinner...  Needless to say a half a box of wipes were used to clean him up.

Enjoy your kiddo wanting to cuddle with you.  It only last for a short time….  Luke, 2005 and Landon, 2007 OH

Choose games and books you like. Your children want to spend time with you, be sure you are enjoying the read/game then they will too -;).  Mara, 1980 and Clair, 1983 IL

The days Are long but the years are short- enjoy every second. Anna, 2006, John, 2008 and Caroline, 2010 NJ

Be the person you want your child to become. Anna, 2006, John, 2008 and Caroline, 2010 NJ

Don't get discouraged eventually they will sleep. Anna, 2006, John, 2008 and Caroline, 2010 NJ

Love the one your with- whoever your with (hubby, baby, parents, or friends) be there mentally & physically- stay focused! Anna, 2006, John, 2008 and Caroline, 2010 NJ

I love you can never be over said.  Anna, 2006, John, 2008 and Caroline, 2010 NJ

You are the perfect parent for YOUR child.  Aeneas, 2007 and Lilija, 2009 NH

If your baby is a poor sleeper and requires you to rock her/him to sleep, or seems needy or eternally clingy, try to remember that a day will come when they won't want you to hold them and savor the moment-- at least a little.  Elise, 2012 ME

Sometimes, if they are alive at the end of the day…it's a good day!  Alex, 1992 and Ian 1996 NH

Always put date night on your calendar.  Make sure to take time for yourself.  You will be a better mother. You will be teaching your child you are a person too and that it is important to value yourself. Plus it’s great bonding time for baby and hubby and he'll appreciate all your hard work a little more.  Don't think you can do it all ask for help when you need it.  Hannah, 2008 and Fiona, 2014 MA

Be a baby-hog, they are small for such a short amount of time.  Georgia, 2006, Sydney, 2008, Hadley, 2008 and Henry, 2014. ME

A nice warm bath fixes almost everything. Georgia, 2006, Sydney, 2008, Hadley, 2008 and Henry, 2014. ME

If you're having a hard day, kiss those baby toes, your troubles will disappear. Georgia, 2006, Sydney, 2008, Hadley, 2008 and Henry, 2014. ME

Let them pick their own clothes.  Bryce, 2007 and Laurel, 2009 NH

I once heard a mom say "It's long days but short years" and that stayed with me.  Baby days can feel like they'll never end and before you know it they're 5.   Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

There are a thousand books and opinions on how to raise kids "do this not that" says one expert and the next says "well that can ruin your child, do this instead"  - take what works for you out of whatever you want and remember - No one can parent YOUR child better than YOU. No one knows your kid and what works for your family.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

None of us are doing it right. None of us are doing it wrong.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Bring that bucket seat everywhere! It feels like a ticking time bomb in that carseat but you'd be surprised how the loud din of a restaurant can put them to sleep.  You can jam them into booths, they fit under tables (just cover with a blanket so food and liquids don't spill on them down there). And most importantly, if they do wake up just don't make eye contact!  More than likely they'll fall back asleep or just look around and take it all in.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

You're not supposed to enjoy every second- (kids need to hear "no", they need parent made boundaries they won't like, etc) but beer and wine helps. Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Make up fun house rules to add humor to shitty situations: "I do input (feeding) so you do output (diapers)."  "You wake em, you take up" (meaning if you poke the bear and they wake, you're stuck putting them back to sleep) Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Don't poke the bear. Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Ask your SIL Drew for sleep tips/training- she has the best sleepers ever! Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Don't be surprised to find that you drastically lower your standard of company you're willing to keep after baby.  Anyone who can bring you coffee when they visit, anyone with a kid to play with yours so you don't have to spend the day on the carpet, anyone who won't judge that you haven't showered in days…anyone will do.  Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Mommy's groups with kids the same age and adults you love will be a lifesaver! Find one. Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Brush your little girls hair even if she's bald to get her used to the feeling.  Soft brushes, of course. Madelyn, 2009 and Emerson, 2011 NH

Mother's instinct first.  Doctor's advice second.  Britt 2010, Sasha 2013 MA

Unless you want a baby that requires total silence to sleep by all means vacuum, blow dry your hair, etc even when the baby is asleep! Britt 2010, Sasha 2013 MA

Have the courage to let other people help you.  No mother is perfect!  Britt 2010, Sasha 2013 MA

Cherish every moment. Time goes too fast. Love every crazy thing that happens, play, laugh, make messes and enjoy. There are memories to be made. Jeffrey 1988, Serina 2002, Ana 2005 and Jose 2009

Expect the unexpected & go with the flow.  Jeffrey 1988, Serina 2002, Ana 2005 and Jose 2009

Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled.

They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles. Teddy 1978, Timmy 1980, Katie 1982, MA

You are allowed to get frustrated, you are allowed to be moody, you are allowed to be short with the people you are closest to, BUT don’t blink.  Hold that baby as much as you can. Joel, 1978 and You, 1986

Don't read too many baby /parenting books. Trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your baby. They grow up fast!  Davis, 2007 Sarah Cate, 2009 and Annaliese, 2012 MA

Don't dismiss any piece of advice you are given.  Respectfully accept it and tuck it away in the back of your mind.  It may not apply at the moment as the baby just arrived but you will be surprised how often throughout the years these little ditties you may have identified as useless come in handy.  Dismiss nothing!  Sara, 2001 NY

When you are up in the middle of the night, cherish the peaceful solitude with your baby.  Kiss the top of her head.  These moments will be gone in the blink of an eye and you will really miss them.  Kristen 198?, Elana, 2001 and Jeffrey, 2002 TX

Let each word and each hug as you read this book carry you through the years and be the foundation for a lasting and joyous mother and child friendship.  Jenny, 1984 and James, 1986 NY

Due for Posting

I have been remiss since our Disney trip and need to post.  I have notes all around the house about what to post too.  Some are funny things that happened in a second, and some are much longer stories I should tell, but alas here we are: 

• When I asked James to hold my hand inside recently, he said no.  He told me "there are no roads or cars or trucks in here, Mommy."
• Joel Andrew hit the Kindergarten wall last week.  I have been warned about this.  The newness wears off and then he is just exhausted.  Bursting into tears for seemingly nothing, going to bed by 6:30 every night. I think we pushed through the wall though, much better this week.
• The Kindergarten class is obsessed with football.  This is part of the reason Joel Andrew burst into tears last week.  One Mom tells me she apologizes, as she believes her son is the culprit.  Not just football, but competitive football.  I told her my husband is psyched about this.  Tell your son to keep it up.  Joel Andrew has been coming home and asking to play football every night with Daddy.  There is one way to parent.
• I had a bunch of Mommies over last night to help get stuff ready for a Halloween party in class that we, as room parents, are hosting next week.  It is amazing how I have lived in this town and am just meeting these people now.  Everyone is very nice.  I think they think I am a bit nuts.  But in a good way?
• James will not stop the whining, or the baby thumb, or the peeing in bed.  Put him in a pull up at night, he never pees.  No pull-up, always pees.  What's the deal? Advice on quitting baby thumb, and curbing the whining also sought here, help me peeps!
• Joel is starting to read words and it is really cool.  Small words, but the fact that he recognizes them is awesome and makes both he and I light up with excitement.  This kid is going to be reading by Christmas I think!
• To pack lunch or not to pack lunch, that is the question.

That's a catch up for now.  I will elaborate if I get around to it but just wanted to get some of this down.  A little snapshot of this time.

First Time Disney Scheduling Notes

I have been chatting a lot with friends planning Disney trips lately - I love it!  If you have questions, want to learn the Disney language, let me know!  But, the most important thing to realize is there is a timeline to get things done and make things work smoothly.  If you are a first time Disney-er - here is the schedule for you to remember (I've linked a lot of the pages for help):

1. Settle on the time of year, the location of your hotel, and the parks you want to see and do at least 8-10 months in advance. (think about Disney Festivals that draw crowds to different parks; the fact that pools at the hotels are closed most of Florida's "winter" and more.)  Also think about where you want to be in terms of transportation to and fro parks.
2. Book your vacation (preferably within a Disney resort if you want my help, I am no good on help of travel outside of parks!) 7-8 months in advance.
3. 7-8 months in advance, look up park schedules. Map out when you want to be where. Start thinking about ideal restaurant reservations!  Research your food!
4. 180 days out of the day you arrive - 7am, book your restaurants online and/or on the phone.  The restaurants that go the quickest are Be Our Guest, Chef Mickey's, anything with princesses.  You can book your entire vacation's worth of restaurants from 180 days out of your first day there, so you will have a better chance at getting the tougher restaurants towards the end of your trip. 
5. Look into any special experiences you may want to do - Peter Pan's Pirate Cruise, Spa, Golf, and book them.
6. Take a break, you deserve it!
7. Download the Disney World app and play around, you will be able to see wait times in all the parks and get to know the rides and how long the waits are…  start making a list!
8. 60 days out - have prepared a list of all where you would like to Fast Pass, then again, 7am - book all your fast passes for your entire trip.  Anna and Elsa, 7 Dwarfs Mine Train, Toy Story Mania go the quickest here!
9. Start to buy cheaper Mickey-themed clothing from Target or Kohls. (limits your expense when you hit the parks, everyone goes with the theme here, even Mom and Dad - wait until you see embroidered team-family shirts!).
10. 2 weeks out - order from gardengrocer.com what you may need in your room and orlandostroller.com if you want a stroller.
11. Pack, and get ready to have tons of fun!

Sounds like a lot, but if you stick to the timeline you parcel out the work and you have the best chance at getting all of the reservations you want.  This way you are not overwhelmed and trying to plan and learn the whole thing in one week when you realize you can't get reservations in half the restaurants.  Even though your vacation maybe more than 3, 4 or 5 months away, it will all be gone (or not ideal).  So, take it from me!  Take the time in advance, and it will be awesome!  (IT WILL STILL BE AWESOME IF YOU DO IT LAST MINUTE TOO. JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT THE MOST IDEAL HERE!)

My blog has lots more info about what to do in advance, details on reservations and all that fun stuff, but ask away!

Next time Disney Notes

These notes are really for me so I can record my thoughts.  But if they help you, good too!

Since we are DVC members, we stay in the place with a washing machine.  I need to remember:

PACKING

1. Bring only 3 outfits for the kids, total.  We will buy shirts here, and I can wash underwear and socks and they will re-wear bathing suits and shorts and sweatshirts!
2. I only need cotton beach coverups for the day.  This is all other people wear.  Sundresses.  Thats it.  Like 4.  Then, I dress them up with my Mickey stuff and we are done.
3. Really, the boys and I need one carry on total, seriously.
4. One pair of comfy flip flops will do the job.  Even with all the walking.
5. Computer or iPad not both. 

SCHEDULING

1. Always go to the parks first thing in the am. It is heaven, 2 hours without lines or anyone there.
2. Do not try to do extra magical evening hours at the MK, unless you are going really late.  In fact, if the MK is having Extra Magical evening hours from 9-11; avoid the park like the plague from 4 on.  It will be the biggest mob scene from about 4-8 guaranteed.
3. Character meals are the way to meet the characters, or fast pass. There is something worse about waiting in line to see a character vs. a ride.
4. Afternoon pool/nap for Mommy is the best time!

Of course I waited a few weeks to finish this post, and I am sure there is more.  

Magic Kingdom 3 & 5

When you have a 3&5 year old and you are going to the Magic Kingdom, and it is 2014, here is what I learned:

1. Go multiple days of your trip, this will be the most favorite place of all. Have fast passes for Peter Pan, Meeting Elsa and Anna, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Winnie the Pooh, and then check what you think your little one will be interested in and get passes for that one too.  See below.
2. Make sure your multiple children are all the same height.  If not, avoid rides in which one will be sad that the other went on.  Blocks are generally done in 40 inches, 44 inches and only a very few 48 inches.  If you have all over 40, but not all 44, you are still golden and can get away with it.
3. Be mindful of the roller coaster rides that are not modern enough for individual seat restraints.  (i.e. the classics like Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, etc.).  If you are taking your little, potentially impressionable big kid on a roller coaster for the first time - try a "more stable" ride like Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.  This way, your kid is fastened to his waist, and not yours.  Yeah, my husband and I are not tiny people by far, but really, who matches the waist of a 3 year old?  And then you are with your poor kid smooching against them in a roller coaster unless you are in one of these modern coasters which keep you separated, safe and comfortable.  Try one of those first before you go to the big guns.  This might help you build the cause for the big kid rides, trust us.
4. Have to do Crystal Palace (food with Winnie and friends) - not the best buffet, but in the middle of the park and good characters.  Be Our Guest for dinner is expensive but a cool place to eat, you get to meet the Beast, and it is the only place in the MK to get booze.  Book early though!
5. Skip Stitch's Great Escape!  Go for Laugh Floor and be prepared to text some of your favorite jokes and you will get in the show.
6. The rides are empty during the Wishes show.  The Wishes show is awesome, but I think from a boat, far away from the crowds.  Who enjoys fireworks directly over head?  Plan for a night to see the show elsewhere, and when you are in the park - stay in the kids area and go from ride to ride in 35 minutes without any wait.
7. Tales with Belle is so much fun and make sure one of your family members is included in the story.
8. If it is early in the am, get to the circus tent behind Dumbo and see Donald, Goofy, Minnie and Daisy.  I think people do not realize this is there.
9. Don't forget to put a brightly colored ribbon on your stroller to identify it in stroller parking!

Will add more as I think of it!

Food and Wine with Kids

This year we went to Epcot Food and Wine Festival with two kids.  They were 3 and 5.  This is my favorite thing, walk around Epcot, eat food and drink a ton. The 3 and the 5 year olds, still in strollers, did not seem to mind this.  At times they LOVED the food samples.  Joel Andrew admitted he liked mushrooms and James very nicely had a bite of whatever Mommy was eating.  Unfortunately, there was also a lot of drunk people.  Not like Mom's drunk, which in my opinion is respectable.  But, here are some stories:

- The girl who was ahead of me at the "La Cava de Tequila" in Mexico - by the way, the only place to get a great margarita other than the San Angel restaurant - and you want a San Angel Margarita there if you are there too…. Anyway, she gets up to the bar, and drunkenly slurs: "We want tequila shots."  The man behind the bar, who is from Mexico and has clearly retired to this job here in Disney - replies: "what kind of tequila shots."  The lady replies: "I trust you."  We (the bartender and I) roll our eyes at each other and he proceeds to pour this idiot $18 shots. I barely think she knew what she was drinking. Not that I was any more sober, but at least I knew what I was enjoying.

- At one point I needed to reorganize and had two boys and no means of restraining them from each other or from running into the thoroughfare of the "street."  So, I played my "Mommy Says" game where I shout things at them like: "Put your hands on your head"  and so on. I did this while I reorganized my purse and one man with four kids in tow came running up to me to tell me that was the best thing he had ever seen.  Really.

I am sure there are more.  There are no morals to this story other than we spent a lot of time walking around Epcot and drinking and eating this trip.  They boys had a blast.  But we still missed some of the rides, and it was crowded (I think normally the countries are a ghost town).  We had some good adult time, tried new things and certainly ate and drank a ton, but maybe we will not do that again with kids, at least on purpose.

Some bonus points of being here with this kids at this time:  The Paris French breakfast that happens only during food and wine on Saturdays.  Yum!  The kids loved the food and so did we.  We only wish Remy was there with us.  Getting in the park early for amazing photos was also a bonus, loved that chance!

We are so bummed we missed the beer pavilion.  I think it is was just so far away that we kept forgetting to go there.

There is still a ton to eat and drink and do in Epcot without the food and wine, so we will be back and back and back. I think it is by far my most favorite place to be - and maybe we should enjoy it without the crowds while we still have the littles who do not necessarily appreciate the finer points of Scottish vs. Irish vs. English cuisine.

2015 Disney Tips - Before you go

1. Make sure you have the Disney app on your phone (all of the phones that are coming) and that everyone has linked up their accounts.  This way, when in the parks you will be able to see all your Fastpasses and reservations.  Brilliant!  This app also tells you ride wait times, and I would also suggest if you download it a few weeks before your trip you can randomly check in and see the waits for the rides you know you really want to go on and schedule your fast passes accordingly.  Wait times change for some things.  Dumbo was huge, and now it is never anything - so a waste of a Fastpass.  You would think Peter Pan would go down - but it is always a 40+ minute wait, no matter what time of year.  Just keep checking and you will get to know what to expect, before you even get there.  We like to check it randomly too.  "Only a 5 minute wait at Splash Mountain this Saturday night when we are in Sunday River and have no plans for Disney anytime soon… Wanna go?"
2. No matter where you are staying, order things from www.gardengrocer.com  If you are staying at a villa and have a kitchen, and plan on cooking or making some things to save money - then buy everything.  Peanut Butter and Jelly, to chicken and milk, yogurt and eggs.  They have it all and it is delivered for free to your Disney resort (and then to your room) if you order more than $40 worth of items.  If you have a villa, don't forget to also get delivered extra laundry detergent, coffee, coffee filters and coffee to-go cups. I highly recommend this and suggest even if you do not have a villa to order from them and still get:  Waters - lots of them, both individually bottled and the liter variety for your entire stay.  Sunscreen - why lug it down?  And, in that same category - don't forget diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, and I would suggest - and should do for next time, those clorox bleach wipes or lysol.  Bugs do linger here and if it hits one of your family members then you totally want to disinfect the bathroom so that it does not spread like wildfire.  Trust me.  Wish I had this this trip.  Finally, a small cache of medicines - vick's vaporub, tums, children's advil.  Think of all of these things like your insurance policies against getting sick.  Last night at 1:30 in the am I went to the front desk, and it took 30 minutes but the lady was so nice to open up the closed gift shop and get me the vaporub.  I got back to the room and James did not cough again. Without me even putting the rub on him.  This is called insurance.  
3. Don't lug your stroller down - especially if you have a walking toddler.  It gets beat up in the plane, and is one more thing to worry about/carry in the airport and travel process.  My kids walking around with back packs on in the airport with their essentials in them and nothing more has been the best thing about them growing older.  No longer do I need to lug 10 bags,  an deal with taking a kid in and out of a stroller to get on the plane, balance bags and kid and things while in a line of people and trying to fold the stroller, etc.  This also translates to the parks. All that being said, at nighttime when shopping is at it's peak and sleeping children are prevalent and drinks can be in hand, a stroller is necessary.  So, we rented two from Orlando Stroller Rentals.  We are using two City Mini-selects.  Super comfy for the kids, have nice sun shading possibilities, and ours came with a rain shield and a parent compartment which fits phones and water bottles at the top.  I think we are paying a total of $40 per stroller, for 8 days.  Not bad.  They delivered it to the hotel, and will pick them up.  The only bummer about these is the boys have to get up in order to get anything out of the bottom compartment.  Other than that, awesome.  As for stroller usage at a park, a whole nother post there.
4. What else?  You can imagine the parks have tons of shirts and hats and all that fun extra stuff.  If you are pressed for purchases, visit Walmart, Target, and Kohls - Kohls being the big winner historically here, in advance of your visit and get as many themed t-shirts and hats as possible.  EVERYONE is wearing fun stuff, so in order to avoid: "I want a fun hat."  Come prepared with the $6 fun hat from NH or NY, and then deflect their concern for getting the $36 fun hat here in FL…  This is all being said from someone who buys the Kohl's version, gets here and also gets the expensive version too.  I can't help it, but at least I tried.
5. Don't forget your reservations!  My husband and I look on the people who walk up to restaurants looking to be seated immediately without a reservation with disdain.  180 days out, make your food reservations.  Sounds crazy to know what you are eating that far in advance?  Then make a few, and as it gets closer, cancel them.  You have 24 hours in advance to cancel reservations without a penalty.  Some of the specific restaurants that are SUPER DIFFICULT to get into, and thus you really want to be on the phone 7am 180 days in advance (while also online simultaneously to ensure the best possibility) are: Cinderella's Royal Table - which was only recently de-throwned by Be Our Guest, Chef Mickey's, and Fantasmic dinner package, the luau and Ohana at the Polynesian, Victoria and Alberts, Le Cellier, and Boma.  All others, you better make some plans anyway, characters means times you want may go fast.  Sadly, the only place that is not completely packed ever is Morocco.  Not sure why…
6. This also goes for Fast Passes!  My husband is the winner here, maybe I will get him to write a paragraph on how to manage this madness someday.  It is like learning Chinese.  In the meantime, I can tell you the top two places (generally, this may vary depending on age and preference of audience) in each park, in late October 2014 you want Fast Passes - I am recommending for a family with kids > 40inches but < 48 inches: EPCOT - Test Track, Soarin.  Magic Kingdom - Peter Pan, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Meet Anna and Elsa.  Hollywood Studios - TOY STORY, Star Wars, Can you get a fast pass for meet Buzz and Woody, then YES!.  Animal Kingdom - Safari, Meet Mickey and Minnie, Kali River Rapids.

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Two Boys in Disney World

Since we have been here we have truly noticed two different characters in Disney World. They are James and Joel.  Let's start with the oldest.

Joel is adorable and polite.  He can also whine and manipulate with the best of them.  He is just like his Mom.  However, at Disney World, like many children, he is a heightened sense of himself.  This can be hysterical, and this can be incredibly frustrating.

Take the times when he is all dressed up to go somewhere and the general crowd oohs and ahhs over him.  He is quick with a thank you and will flash a smile like: "yeah, I know I am handsome, you're welcome."  At least he said Thank you.  When he needs something he will ask politely, even moreso than usual - and the best - if you explain to him a rule, such as: You can only buy one toy at the end of the vacation so only look and do not touch…  He listens to you and agrees!  And then repeats the rule back to you when you are in the store and he is tempted to freak out for the desire to own another stuffed animal.  "No, I will keep looking because I only get one toy."  Love him.

 But, he also freaks out for no reason about rides.  Which is breaking his father's heart.  He goes to get on a ride and you can see immediately the tense nature, the scared thoughts - will this one get me wet?  Will I fall 50 feet?  I have begged and begged Joel Husband to stop making him do the rides because he just cries the entire time and then it is fun for no one (and he is crying so much that there is absolutely no chance he will ever just snap out of it and then say he likes it).  So, instead - the mean Mom I am I say things like: "You won't like that water slide, you get wet and it is too high and only the big kids like to do it, you are not big enough yet."  Then he goes on it proudly and loves it.  And goes again and again.  Let's hope we can turn around his thoughts on some of the rides he has sworn off…

But for all the ride-drama there is something Joel Andrew brings to this visit - and that is his flair for participation and theatrics.  I will never forget this visit for the time that Joel Andrew was selected to play the role of Beast on Tales with Belle.  He had so much fun, and was the best Beast they had ever seen.  He looked so proud and happy dancing with Belle.  It was awesome.   This carries on - when the Muppets need help he is the first in a high audience to tell them where Bean is.  He is a ham, super on it and super smart.  Not afraid of a crowd for sure.

Then there is the other guy.  Cute is not the word.  Loving, caring, and ready for adventure.  But certainly not ready for the crowd.  James has gone on every singe ride, and on Mine Train twice in a row (Mom and Dad ride shared).  He is 2 years younger than Joel.  When I rode with him on Mine Train, we were in the front seat and he was yelling with glee and steering the train with his hands.  He is the first to high-5 you when you get off the ride.

But don't pay him a compliment or ask him to get up on stage.  Looking just as dapper as his older brother, James gets the compliments as well.  And he shrugs his face into his neck and turns away.  This from the guy who is so outwardly affectionate with his family.

He too played a role in Tales with Belle - Phillippe the horse.  Not so much activity there other than - to the great dismay of the Disney man thinking this kid is going to get the most laughs - again, shrugging into himself and trying to turn away all while a look of anger at "why am I up here?" is on his face.  This was repeated when we went to Raglan Road last night and he finally got up there to dance.  Totally terrified.

So, we have two different boys who are enjoying (and not enjoying) two different Disney experiences. It is awesome and funny to watch them together and to enjoy different things and be different people.  They seem to be having a good time, now that we are not forcing rides or public appearances on anyone anymore...

When there is an issue with your Disney vacation

Sadly, when we checked in our room this Disney vacation, we had an issue.  It was immediate, and it was bad.  Before I even opened the door to the room I smelled smoke. The cigarette kind.  When I got in the room I couldn't breathe.  Now, I come from a lady who is very sensitive to smoke.  I tire of her immediate remarks when she catches a whiff of it.  I don't like it either.  I freak out when I am behind a car who is smoking, and the smell comes into mine.  However, it is not the end of the world to me, it is just unpleasant.

This was more than unpleasant, much, much more.

Even the bellman said: "I remember dropping off the people here, their suitcases stank of smoke."  That kinda didn't help my cause.  I should mention that it is Food and Wine week here, and I knew all the rooms were spoken for. It was 9pm at night, our only possibility was to not be the last people checking in.  Joel got right on the phone and I took the boys out of the room.  It took about 40 minutes, but we had a different room, though it was NOT to be our real actual room for the week.

As you can guess, I take my trip pretty seriously.  We had groceries there waiting for us, two big suitcases.  I am also a bit of a control freak.  I can't immediately unpack and organize everything - outfits for each day?  Food all in cupboard, coffee ready to push start tomorrow morning?  As I processed this - two boys who had only MOMENTS BEFORE  found out they were in Disney World (the moments when we thought we were getting our room no problem and could run over to EPCOT for a celebratory drink) - were FREAKING out.  Well, actually, in the grand scheme of things, they weren't so bad.  They were just noisy and constantly moving and touching everything in sight and all that stuff.  You know, boys, who had been on a plane and were tired.

Disney gave us a room, a two room suite on the club level in the hotel.  We sent back our food to the storage area and then I proceeded to be angry at the situation, which is the one thing you should never ever do here.  Things are beyond your control, and you are in Disney World.  Dammit.  But I really thought I could fix this. I went to the front desk and showed them my excel spreadsheet in an attempt to explain that obviously I was crazy and I needed my room right now.  They gave me the all smiles apology and that was it.  Either Disney has these people totally trained, or I am not the first psycho to cross their path.

In their further defense, they gave us a two room suite with concierge level.  The bellman (poor guy who was with us throughout this ordeal) begged me to see the concierge.  Probably one not foreign to this dance, he was figuring "Lady, all the people like you love it, you will too."  But, I, like a stubborn 4 year old refused to go.  It was only after Joel Husband that came down with two beers that I decided to take a peek.

I was being a brat, but we had been looking forward to this vacation for 11 months and I just wanted it to start, and I thought that this was a way that was not making it start.  We paid all this money, I had all these plans - not to mention this was the second time that when checking into the Beach Club we had an issue.  What the hell?  Then I walked into the concierge level, received 2 glasses of wine, a plate full of Mickey dessert treats.  The elevator ride down I calmed, and by the time I was back in my two bedroom suite I woke the only son that would wake up - Joel - up…  And we proceeded to devour the treats and he make me laugh.  Our vacation did start.

Moral of the story is - when it is not working out and the mouses's house has screwed something up, try not to freak out like me, and try to recognize that they really want to make you happy here.  We had a few more bumps in the road, couldn't charge to our wristbands and all that jazz, which was annoying and made it seem like we were not welcome and made us mad again.  The second we would tell a Disney person they would give us a FastPass.  At first, this was kind of offensive - just have a fast pass and go away.  Then, it was kind of nice.  This is the only thing the Disney person can really do - this issue cost us time from our vacation and this is the quickest way they can give it back to us - "go walk onto Seven Dwarfs Mine Train with your family - past the thousands of others in line, have fun, we are working on it."  And we did.

Be nice to the people here, they will be nice to you back.  They want you to have fun, because when you have fun you buy stuff. And that is all that matters.