This weekend we went out to the Berkshires to visit with Joel's extended family. It was wonderful to see the family, but I have mixed reviews on the child... Snip-its from the weekend include me crying in front of a table of in-law relatives saying: "If I knew he was going to be like this I would not have gotten pregnant with #2;" Husband and I yelling at each other in front of his very fraile (has been going through a lot lately) grandfather who was otherwise nice enough to book us a room at a 5 star resort this weekend; and, my personal fav, just letting Joel Andrew cry, with tears and all, scream at the top of his lungs, in the Lee Friendly's for at least five minutes while the waitstaff ran around frantic about what to do. We did nothing but stare at him. There was just nothing else we could do.
He really has gone into full blown tantrum stage. This is magnified by the fact that I continue to think "what have I done, I can't believe I am going to have another one of these." Sounds terrible and shocking, but it is true. I have no idea what we did and I am terrified. I say this to people, people in the grocery store and they laugh at me, but they also see tears welling up in my eyes. I am terrified.
Joel is a good kid, but this tantrum thing has got to end. I am at a loss as to what to do. Granted we dragged him from restaurant to restaurant this weekend, we stayed in a 5-star hotel-spa-resort which was not for children, and our main visit was at a nursing home... So, can you blame him? But still, I thought we could manage it a little bit. As you can read from above, no.
And, when he does his freak out husband and I have different ways of trying to calm him which we both believe the other's way is absolutely wrong. So that, combined with me then crying about how sad it is that we are adding more like this to our family, just compounds the situation and makes it worse. I know, not a happy-sunny blog today.
We went to visit Joel's grandmother, who is in the nursing home. She had a fall this summer which hastened her mental decline. She looked great, all things considered. She was her normal self, just quieter, still being overly cautious about the baby. She gave him plenty of kisses and he gave her a hug which made the weekend well worth it.
I am just tired. All of my stress this weekend sadly won me a prenatal massage that was fantastic. I am thinking I just need to take an hour or two a month and do something overly selfish, silly and indulgent to help keep me calm. I am literally wishing away my children (including one not even born yet)'s lives, and hoping to wake up tomorrow with them in high school. I think this is not normal...
Thanks for all your well wishes last week guys. It was a tough weekend, or week I guess, but it has passed. He is still throwing tantrums, but your help has helped! I am trying to remain calm, and that does help a ton. We are also trying to get him to do lots of things. Yesterday we went to Gymboree, and then in the afternoon to Rumble Tumble (a smaller version of Imajine That, and in Portsmouth). He loves climbing on things and running around, so it was good to get his energy out.
Then, last night, we had a sitter! Joy of joys! We just left for about three hours and did some errands and went out to dinner. We went to a chain restaurant which is normally so not my thing, but husband insisted. A dinner of fried pickles, onion bomb, fried chicken and french fries was not what my tummy needed. But, getting out and about without worrying about the kiddo was nice. And, I didn't worry. The babysitter knew Joel as she is one of the afternoon girls at his school. She fed him dinner, put him to bed and then watched tv for 2 hours, not bad!
Christmas is coming up. I normally try not to think about it until after Thanksgiving but we have so much going on this year that I want to get on the ball. As you can see I am having a hard time taking THE Christmas photo and am desperately trying to avoid the Picture People place. I still have nightmares from my experience last year.
We are at home this weekend, getting things done and relaxing. It is nice. He has a cough coming on, so a rest is probably in order for all of us. Plus, Grammie comes on Monday, followed by Grumpy Tuesday, Nana and Pa on Wednesday and Aunt Jennie and Uncle Jeremy on Saturday - he better rest up!
