He really has gone into full blown tantrum stage. This is magnified by the fact that I continue to think "what have I done, I can't believe I am going to have another one of these." Sounds terrible and shocking, but it is true. I have no idea what we did and I am terrified. I say this to people, people in the grocery store and they laugh at me, but they also see tears welling up in my eyes. I am terrified.
Joel is a good kid, but this tantrum thing has got to end. I am at a loss as to what to do. Granted we dragged him from restaurant to restaurant this weekend, we stayed in a 5-star hotel-spa-resort which was not for children, and our main visit was at a nursing home... So, can you blame him? But still, I thought we could manage it a little bit. As you can read from above, no.
And, when he does his freak out husband and I have different ways of trying to calm him which we both believe the other's way is absolutely wrong. So that, combined with me then crying about how sad it is that we are adding more like this to our family, just compounds the situation and makes it worse. I know, not a happy-sunny blog today.
We went to visit Joel's grandmother, who is in the nursing home. She had a fall this summer which hastened her mental decline. She looked great, all things considered. She was her normal self, just quieter, still being overly cautious about the baby. She gave him plenty of kisses and he gave her a hug which made the weekend well worth it.
I am just tired. All of my stress this weekend sadly won me a prenatal massage that was fantastic. I am thinking I just need to take an hour or two a month and do something overly selfish, silly and indulgent to help keep me calm. I am literally wishing away my children (including one not even born yet)'s lives, and hoping to wake up tomorrow with them in high school. I think this is not normal...
Just remember, babies don't come out throwing tantrums :-). You'll have a while before Joel has someone to stoke his fiery temper and add to the chaos. And by then, he'll be a bit more manageable hopefully (though I can attest that, even at 4, tantrums still happen - ugh! Less often, though, and usually only at home).
ReplyDeleteIn my experience (which is NOT vast), second kids fit right in and don't cause the upheaval first kids do. You'll be great as a mom of two, I'm sure! But definitely see through that idea of taking time for yourself - you deserve it!
Of course you are overwhelmed! Think about it like this. You remember clearly what it was like pre-J. Late nights/morings. Liesurely weekends. No crazy pregnancy hormones. So don't feel bad about wishing the time away. I often think about how much easier my life will be once Cameron is older. I'm trying to get her interested in TV just to get some breaks during the weekends! But I digress. You are right, there isn't much you can do about tantrums. Most people will say to just leave wherever you are but that's not always feasible especially if you are waiting in line with a full grocery cart. So grin and know that it will get easier. It VERY hard to do time outs in public or the car.
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