Time to come back?

 Well, it has been a while since my last post. It looks like I just lost my creativity for the entirety of the Trump presidentcy. All politics aside, a lot has happened in four years including two trips to ski in Europe, a job change or two, a pandemic, you know - the usual. Now that the pandemic is nearing an end, and with lots of time in the pandemic to think about things, organize things, clean things, declutter things, buy new things, arrange new things, all the things - I've had a chance to really think about what I am meant to do - what I am put on this earth to do. And, it is to host a travel tv show where I travel the world and eat delicious food and get paid a lot for it.

So, my true calling may not be easily attained most immediately. I may have to do some work to get to where I want to be. It may be years, decades before I get there!  And with every great journey there is one small step so today that step is figuring out how to get this blog going again. 

Centered on the boys and our travels, we will focus on great places to visit and explore and also, of course, eat!  We will hike, bike, walk, visit, view, boat, ski and eat our way through some great places. With my oldest about to turn 12 and my youngest about to turn 10, this is a different time of life. No longer will we be thinking about stroller logistics but we will be thinking about keeping pre-teens and teens engaged logistics. We may be thinking about how to also entertain a cute french bulldog along the way - (we lost Angus, but now have Polly, she shall be introduced later).

Our first stop on this epic adventure of me, a few boys, and a little frenchie: Hilton Head Island, SC!  Buckle up for some fun ahead - and with a twist this time, the oldest has a full arm cast. Why go to the land of golfing, biking, tennis and beach when you can't do any of that? We'll show you why!  There is so much to do here and even keep a bummed 11 year old with a freshly broken arm happy as a clam!

Hero

James was asked to pick a hero tonight for his homework.  He initially said Mom and then Mom and Dad (he is eager to please) - but when I pressed him for someone else, after some big thoughts he finally said: "A dancer man."  So, we then watched 30 minutes of YouTube, I only did some Fred Astaire (the one where he dances on the ceiling), Gene Kelly (singing in the Rain), and a Fred & Ginger (a nice tap number).  He then decided Fred Astaire was his new hero.

We looked at the pictures on the internet and he chose the one above to print and bring to school.

He remarked how it was amazing that Fred and Ginger did the same thing at the same time.  Then he did some dance moves for me.

I gotta get this kid back into dance class.  Need to find one with boys!

Boys reaction

I told them we have to be kind.  And that George Washington and all the men who founded our country put checks in place to ensure not any one person could have too much power.  And we will be ok.  And we need to be kind.  And the people elected him.

And Joel said: "How many more years until we get to elect another President?"

And James said: "Are we moving to another place?"

Post Almost Election

Last night our country spoke and they are electing someone who I do not believe in.  Who challenges everything I believe in. Who scares me.

I am not sure how we as a country can move forward with him as a leader.

This is particularly troubling to me as my job is tied to all things about the greatness of our nation.  As I worked hard my whole life to believe that if you work hard, good things will come, and good things will happen.  His (probable) election has shown that it does not matter.  You can have no experience, you can say inflammatory things, you can do what you will, you can be ill prepared - and you can still be ok here. *If and only if* you meet certain criteria.

It has caused me to think about what it means to be American.

But, what do I tell my boys?

I went into the voting booth this morning so happy, so full of promise and excitement.  I made my boys come with me and I dressed up in my *hashtag* pantsuit.  And I voted for her. And, I teared up as I did it. I bought a Live Free or Die NH pin and an American flag pin from my Museum gift shop. I posted pictures. Tonight when I said goodnight to my oldest Joel, I told him to remember always that Mommy took you to vote today, and remember that Mommy voted for her.

And it was not enough, not even close.  And now, in a few hours, when my boys wake up I will tell them that (I, we, our Country) lost.

And they are 5 and 7, so they won't really get the weight of that statement. They really will not understand how I feel. And now the most formative years of their lives, they will grow up with him as President. They will see his hatred of others.

So I write it down here, and hopefully they will read it and understand it someday.  I was the only person in our family to vote for her.  I am the only person in our family who defends our current President. Boys, I called your grandparents and cried to them on the phone about how ridiculous this all feels, and they didn't really seem to get it or care. Your father, in the room with me as I am in tears, did not seem to get it or care.

For the next decade I am going to suffer endless conversations with all family members about my black sheep distaste for this person. (Boys, your grandfather seems to think that there is no way he will be 2 term, but who thought he could even be 1 term)? I will watch as everything our last President, who I also stood with while everyone in our family was against me and him, built is destroyed.  I will see our friends, who have just started to build their families, who have just started to build their lives - be scared about what is next.  I will worry that because I posted this, and it is contrary to his "popular" opinion, I will be ruined.  Dramatic?  Don't think so.

My boys, you will likely grow up to be like this man who is (likely) our President elect.  You are privileged, you are white, you have had everything handed to you.  Everything has been handed to you.  Everything will be handed to you. And, you are male.  Nothing can touch you. And we learned that tonight.

But, you are my sons, and you better be better than that.  You better be compassionate, you better be thoughtful and you better see beyond what is clearly laid out and handed to you.  You do not deserve what is handed to you.  You were given it.  You better learn to be grateful for that, and then you better learn how to help others.

When I thought she would win, and we would be ok - I also conceded that this election was terrifying and we should band together as a Nation and figure out what we could do to ensure this does not happen again.  I wanted to know what the Museum I work for could do so that this would not happen again.  I must stand by this, and figure this out.  But for right now I feel defeated. Deflated.  Disappointed. And most of all sad.

In the grand scheme, my boys - you will not lose, you will probably gain from tonight's results.  Your stock just went up. My job just got tougher to ensure that I can somehow impart the bigger picture on you.  And, I'll try.  But for tonight, and probably for tomorrow too, I am going to be sad for everything we can no longer be excited about.  For the future which is so uncertain for so many. And hopefully shortly thereafter, I will pick myself up, put on my big girl panties, and will then go to work figuring out how to ensure you do not succumb to these stereotypes which are so easily laid out before you.

Disney Pins

So, we are in Disney World.  And, I decided I need to blog about specific topics.  And, today - we shall bog about pins.

James Morris was very good - walking home with me, in Epcot.  We stopped in France to buy my annual perfume (if you go during Food and Wine, and probably other times too, you can get some to engrave your name on the bottle, which is pretty neat).  Anyway, he was great.  He was patient, and nice, and kind.  And, we were leaving the Park after I had bought my perfume (and had it shipped home, so I wouldn't have to pick it up, pay tax, or check my bags) - and he remarked on just how good he was, could he get a special treat?

Here's the deal.  My son has had a hard time adjusting to Kindergarten.  Continues to have a hard time.  He is a mess.  When he is good, I want to reward him.  (this may or may not be effective but is not the point of the blog post).  He was really good, and what was more, he pointed out he was being good.  So whether or not this was a good plan, I wanted to reinforce for him that if he is good, good things happen, so when he asked if he could get something special in the next store, I said yes.

In the next store was lots of the same, stuffed animals, t-shirts, etc.  We need something more.  Something entertaining and that will last.  PINS!  We bought a lanyard and a starter set of pins.  He was proud, happy and excited.  He learned about trading and was in. I was in.

Then, the next day he proudly adorned his pins, and his brother stated: "Where are MY pins?" While the boys were looking at the manatee, I bought Joel Andrew pins, again not to give the baby what he wants, but because he was excited to participate.  Set aside your Disney is evil mentality for a minute (don't worry, I'll get back to the commercialism of it later) and let's discuss:

• The pins allow the guys to have conversations with others.  They need to be polite, and to ask to trade.  They need to look people in the eye, and they need to be nice.
• It is something that they can identify with others in the park.  You are wearing pins, so am I.  Hate as you must about Disney, but a common core of it is that people who come here and love it, love it. And when someone is wearing that pin necklace, you know they are in. If your kid is in, why not let them talk to Danielle from AK, Rodney from IL or Clara from NJ.  Or, the cast members.  And that brings me to my next:
• The cast members cannot refuse the pin trade, so the kids will gain confidence trading with them. The rules are the cast members will trade up to two pins with you.  They get pins with little mickeys on them that you cannot buy.  You have to trade for them.  

So, I'll get my child these infernal pins, what's the deal?:

• There are "cheaper" pins, and more expensive pins.  Buy a starter set of the cheaper pins, and let that be the only pins that your child trades.
• Every once and a while, you will want to buy a nice pin.  You can.  But don't let your child wear it, or if they do, get the locking back.  Pins fall off.  You do not want to pay $20 for a pin and have it fall off. Nor do you want to argue with your irrational 6 year old about this pin cost $20 and that one cost $6.  So from the very start, set pin rules.  "That's a saver pin, we save that one for home."
• We use the more expensive pins as big milestone moment rembrances.  (or at least we will now).  You rode on that rollercoaster for the first time?  You get a pin!
• I want to repeat.  The pins will fall off.  Schedule pin time vs. non pin time, buy extra backs, and if a pin is loved, do not wear it in the parks.

Enjoy.  Both my boys have loved the process, and loved trading.  We will continue, but we will be more careful.  Above all, this is not a cheap endeavor.  So - plan accordingly!

Disappointing Summer

This summer turned out differently than I would have normally wanted.  It was busy, it was hectic, the boys were away from me a ton.  We haven’t been to the beach yet. I worked a lot, and felt a ton of stress about it.  James is going to kindergarten in a week and I would have thought this summer would have been one last epic sendoff with us having done many Joelly-Jamesy-Mommy days, and the truth is we haven’t had a one.  Each time I went to plan one, something else would come up.  For work, for family, for something else.  With less than one week left my beach afternoon will be scheduled down to 1 hour because of flag football try outs.  And, my last Monday with the boys will be interrupted right smack dab in the middle of the day with Kindergarten preview.

It hasn’t been all bad.  It has been epic in other respects, too.  The boys had three straight weeks at the lake, and found a new favorite camp, Center Day Camp.  They had a lot of time with their Nana and Pa and cousin Lucie, and they got to learn about Israeli culture at their new camp, and take a boat to and from camp every day.  They still rate this as their most favorite camp of the summer.

We haven’t been to the library, we didn’t go to the Zoo (first time ever missing York Wild Animal Kingdom), no trip to Water Country (not to sad about that one), we didn’t go to Storyland and still have not yet been to Santa’s Village.  But, we went to our Seacoast Science Center concert (which in the end, ended poorly because of too much over scheduling).  Basically, last night they were home, and we went through their Little Passports mail which had been backed up and it was wonderful.  Perhaps the less scheduling, the better?  Though I feel like we missed our favorites.

I also wonder how many moments are left at York’s, Storyland?  Will they want to go back again?  Did I just miss out on our last chance to do these things?  Should I be sad about this?

We missed a trip to the Cape to visit my parents which seemed like it wouldn’t be a big deal, but this week – the week we should be there, it is hurting. We also missed the lake a bunch – because of Mommy’s work, but also because of a good reason – we got to go to Montana with our best friends.  The kids good friends’ parents are our good friends and a great (and sometimes very challenging) week was had.

Lots of grandparent time, lots of amazing adventures centered on them, in amazing places (a bazillion dollar ranch in Montana with a stocked trout pond for them to fish, and a rec barn for them to play in and atvs for them to ride) has been great, but also taxing on their personalities. It has been a challenge getting them to behave, and not act entitled.  Respect.  I have been trying to teach them respect.  There has been more whining, more attitude, more fighting than ever before.  And, I have never screamed so much or so loud at them than this summer.  Maybe it is just this summer, or maybe this is the next phase.

So, I guess I should not be so upset about this, and remember and make a list of all the things they got to do this summer, and star the ones I got to do with them, too.  That’s the new thing, right?  They are going to get to do things by themselves, and I will be there sometimes and I will not be there others. Now, it is teaching them to get to be grateful for these opportunities and to respect others that I really need to work on, too.

Things we did do this summer:

• Went Strawberry picking with Laurel, made Strawberry Jam together*
• Spent 3 weeks straight in Maine with Nana and Pa, and went to Center Day Camp.
• Got to visit Yellowstone Park on the 100^th Anniversary of our National Park System*
• Enjoyed a Seacoast Science Center Concert despite Joel Andrew’s whining for a cheeseburger*
• Opened and enjoyed (in some manner) our Little Passports things and started talking about future vacations*
• Had time at the Museum of the Rockies*
• Learned to backstroke (James)
• Joel Andrew and I kayked together and an eagle soared over us while a loon called to his friend just a few feet away from us.*
• Joel and James both made new friends at camps.
• We watched a Rugby game, and the boys were excited to learn that their Mommy was a Rugby player*
• We all took our new puppy for a walk together in the woods with our trainer, Gail*
• Went to the Beach with Heather and Laurel and boogie boarded.*
• (must keep adding!) We did do a ton!

Surgery

Sometimes I can be a good Mom.  Yep, I left work early, I picked up the boys from camp with their friend and we went to the beach.  I played games at the beach, and only freaked out moderately with all the sand and the mess (I secretly love the beach).  Then, we came home, and I spent good time with one son, and later that night the other son and I read a book.  Then, I was exhausted.

But oldest son, really wonderful guy - had told me: "Waddles has a hole, can you fix the hole in is neck, Mommy?"

I promised I would.  But I was tired, and I drank a glass of wine and watched Netflix.  (Mommy of the year). I was going to go to bed, until I saw Waddles, waiting, prepped for the OR.

So, just now, I performed surgery on Waddles.  He is small, and well-loved, and the boy wanted it.  I delivered a mended Waddles to his room where the boy was sleeping and gave the boy a kiss.  I am lucky to be Dr. Mom tonight.