revelation

Today I had a revelation, with the help of my co-worker.  For years I have been stressed now - time is going by so quickly.  I need to write it down, I need to appreciate it, I need to suck it up and enjoy every moment.  I'm going to be sad when it is over.  I am missing out each time I work.  I need to enjoy this moment.  I stress myself out with all of this.  All the time.

I tell people this, and they usually agree with me which stresses myself out more.  Write it down.  Take pictures.  Make sure you work less and enjoy your kids more.  Travel more.  I do travel more, I work "part time" but sometimes at the end of the day I beat myself up for wanting to sit on the couch or make dinner in peace than argue with my 5 year old about why he cannot have a gatorade.

We do have moments of pure enjoyment and fun and I do remember them, blog about them, take pictures of them.  And I should remember that, all is not lost.  I am enjoying the now.

But my co-worker said it best - he is not sad about the new now with his kids - high school age and growing.  He is excited for the next stage, he is excited for their little lives and seeing them grow and seeing what they are about to accomplish.

If I could just focus on that, and less on making myself feel guilty for missing the opportunity of taking a picture of my son holding a sign up that said his favorite color at age 2, then 3 then 4 - then maybe we all would be better off.

On that note, the kids are in bed 20 minutes early and I am going to rent a movie off my DVR.  But I will enjoy the time we have tomorrow and this weekend too!  And I will try not to be sad that the baby stage is over, and I will enjoy that my boys are wonderful, happy, healthy, sometimes mischievous, always loving guys.

They still better hug me when they are older though.