Fast Forward or Rewind?

I have wanted to post the progress to date, but have had a hard time figuring out what to say. Clearly there is a lot going on, getting adjusted to a 4th member of the family. I can start with the basics, James is great. He eats, sleeps and poops (though it is quite taxing for him to poop which is sad to watch. Dr. says this stems from the fact that he is gaining weight so quickly and output isn't so huge...). He sleeps pretty good at night, I can usually get at least 1 4-hour stretch out of him. I am convinced it might be more but I have not yet figured out the difference between mid-sleep grunting and hunger grunting. He hardly cries. I hope this stands up.

His skin is peeling like crazy, all due to the fact he was cooked too long I assume. Otherwise he is so pleasant. I am enjoying my time with him, as he is attached to me most of the day. Which leads me to my first ironic complaint. The breastfeeding, man. When does it slow down? This kid is always hungry, always eating. When my Mom leaves how am I going to feed James and take care of Joel Andrew? It has to start to get better soonish, right? Hmmm. This is ironic as many of you know it did not work at all with Joel Andrew. Now that it is working perfectly with James, I am just tired of it and we are only entering week 2! I also have to get good at doing it in public, without a boppy and my usual set-up... Any suggestions there? Hooter Hider is on it's way already...

I left the hospital sad that this is the last time we will be in the hospital with a newborn. Funny, right? The whole pregnancy I just kept wishing away the pregnancy and the first year of my unborn child's life saying that it will all be easier when they are 3 and 1. But seeing the little guy certainly changed me and I am really savoring every moment with him now. We have already blew past newborn clothes and I set most of them aside. Can I bring myself to donate them or give them away? He is using up his last newborn diaper today or tomorrow - and it makes me sad. Already into #'s! Where does the time go?

I swear, if I wasn't likely to have a c-section again, if the breastfeeding thing and sleeping thing were easier, I would probably consider going onto #3, that is how much this little man has changed my mind. But, not enough as I am brought back to reality and it is not all roses right now.
Poor Joel Andrew. This makes me so sad. He is having a tough time. I swear it is not the fact that he has a new brother, he loves the baby. It is everything else. It is the people in and out and the passing of him off to others, even though they are family, for care. The inconsistencies have rocked his normal schedule and combined with the terrible twos which I think he is experiencing early, and have made him a nightmare. I know, not a nice thing to say about your son. I miss my good little boy. Now each afternoon is filled with tantrums, whining, constant crying and "No!" Husband is trying his hardest, but I know Joel Andrew misses Mommy time too. I want to spend more time with him, but am constantly feeding James. Or trying to catch up on sleep. And, if I can spend time with him with the stupid c-section they tell me I can't pick him up, so no putting him to bed, in the high chair, in the car. Other c-section Moms, did you follow this rule, and for how long?

I am longing for a routine again. My Mom, who has been awesome, is going home next week. Then it will be me with the guys on my own, which is good as we will just need to figure things out. But I don't know how I am going to do it. How do you feed the little guy and get the big guy ready for the day at the same time? How will I go for a 1-hour car ride with a newborn who eats every 45 minutes? And feed him in public? Now I start thinking about fast forwarding to 3 and 1 again...

I am sure we will settle in. I go for a check-up next week so I am hoping they will say I am all clear to resume my motherly duties with Joel Andrew despite the surgery... People get c-sections everyday, is the recovery really this long?