But the real story is... Tonight we had dinner. I normally have very good eaters (well all except my husband). I made turkey meatloaf, steamed squash and brown rice. Simple enough, nutritious, easy to do, all boys have enjoyed it in the past. I thought it was a snap.
Well, Joel Andrew was having none of it. He ate all the rice, but would not eat the meatloaf or the zucchini. Finally we got him to eat the meatloaf. He had to sit in the corner once before he did that. But the zucchini, nothing. We convinced him to have a bite, the kid took one taste and before it hit his lips he gagged and threw it on the floor. ON THE FLOOR. I totally lost it, but I think rightfully so. My husband, who has never eaten any other vegetables than cucumbers and peppers, took his side. The kid doesn't want it. Ok, but he can't throw it on the floor! He didn't even give it a chance. To the corner he went.
Then followed ten minutes of parent discipline talk. I think we did right, you can't throw food on the floor. You need to try everything, and if you do not like it, then fine, but you have to at least try it. Finally, the chocolate he was promised (we still have a few bites of easter bunny) for dessert, if he had "clean plate club" were no longer. Joel Husband thought I was being too extreme. No way! Who in the family eats anything you put in front of them? Who likes vegetables? Not him, me. So, I am figuring I rule this discipline argument.
Here is where it gets bad. In an effort to put an exclamation point on my annoyance at the episode that just played out, when Joel Andrew had calmed down from his corner time I asked him if he knew what he did wrong. He said no. I told him he needed to try the vegetable. He told me he ate all the vegetable. I showed him the vegetable in the garbage and asked him did he eat that? How can it be in the garbage if he ate it? He then looked at me, devil in eye, and said: "I don't know."
I then handed him the remainder of his Easter bunny and told him to throw it in the garbage...
You did right.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't had this issue yet - but working with kids in the past I've always instituted a "No Thank You Bite" as in you must take at least one bite. Not finishing what's on your plate is fine (they may be legitimately full), however if you were full then you should be still full later when dessert time comes around.
You could also start with smaller portions of everything to start (a few bites) so they can ask for more of what they like after they have a bit of everything.
Told you I read this :)
You were totally right for using discipline for the throwing food. I do that for Cameron. I don't do TO for not eating but throwing food? Hell, yes. And she gets no dessert unless she eats the amount we are happy with. And I keep her food on the counter for about 30 minutes after dinner. So if she wants a "snack" I say no but she can have her dinner. She is still the pickiest eater in the world but at least I'm staying strong! And good for your for family dinners. We're still not there yet.
ReplyDeleteI insist my kids try at least one bite of everything on their plates - Lucy is finally at the age where this is working with her, Finn's had it down pat for a while. I don't require clean plates, though. And I DEFINITELY discipline for lying and food throwing - time outs all the way!! You're not mean :-).
ReplyDeleteI've read that you shouldn't tie dessert to eating dinner, as it supposedly promotes unhealthy eating habits (values dessert above everything else, encourages eating even if you're not hungry). Better to offer the dessert from the outset, kind of as part of the meal (not that it should be on their plate with everything else, but don't make it contingent on eating a good dinner). Not sure if that really holds up or not, and I'm definitely guilty of saying no to dessert if the kids turn their noses up at what I cook.