(note: this is excessive for anyone not in Otter's immediate family probably, but it - as all blog posts, are meant for me and my boys one day to read and look back and remember fondly. If you want to enjoy, please do too - but there is a lot of Otter in here! - as there should be!).
Today we lost a good friend. This is what I put on Facebook to announce Otter's passing. My husband wrote something much more beautiful and eloquent and fitting. Otter was so much more than a good friend. But today we lost her.
We knew this was coming for a week now. Well, I knew it would be coming for longer than that. She made it to 11-1/2 years old which is great. And she lived every moment. In the end, it was her legs that got her. She had a huge mass on her shoulder and we would have to amputate, and either way watch her suffer. She runs, she jumps, she fetches, she whines, she loves, she gets hair all over my house, she wakes us up early, she whines, she swims, she loves. She does not suffer. She does not lay in silence in the corner. So, there was no way we were having that. It was time to let her go. And we did, with lots of love.
She had a week with her family for the holidays, and watched Christmas from the safety of the dining room. She took every kiss, every pat every snuggle she could get and she stayed strong even after each of us, one by one, broke down crying on her silky ears. She let the boys kiss her and still had enough fight in her in the end to also let them know when they were getting too rough. She loved them.
Otter was best known for jumping off the dock at our house at Sebago Lake. She is actually world-renowned for this. At first it was cute. "Look at the chocolate lab running and jumping off the dock. Aren't we a Maine couple?" Joel husband and I thought. Then, after about 8,000,000 times of throwing the ball, and if not throwing the ball hearing whining noises that make you want to gouge your eyes out, we thought: "this dog is nuts." But, we loved her.
People would come to stay with us for the weekend, and I think this is the happiest part about Otter's life - they all knew and loved her. They all knew if they came up they would all have to throw the ball. When a new person came over I would say: "STOP! Don't throw the ball unless you are ready to do so 800 times." They would all inevitably reply: "Oh, how much can she go for?" 2 hours later, always, everyone would say- "wow, she is amazing, can you throw it for me now?"
She knew so many of our friends so well - that my little Facebook post already has over 20 comments in just the few hours. There are a lot of people missing her today.
One of her most favorite times in life was going to Hilton Head, and the sight of her chasing the birds on the beach will always be in my head (sorry environmentalist friends). This was also her "wubbie" stage. A dog with a stuffed animal.
Nothing was better than the leather reclining chairs for this dog after a long day of swimming. This was to Nana's great dismay and to Pa's great delight. We would go to visit Nana and Pa and no matter where we were - Nana would try to "save" her furniture by putting a blanket or towel down in the chair she thought Otter would go to sit in. No one laughed harder than Otter at this - she usually just picked a new fancy chair and laid in it.
If a ball wasn't around, a stick was a good second choice. Her game then changed from throw it, to try to get it away from me/try to duck while I may decapitate you with the large unwieldy stick. You would have gashes at your ankles. Then, she would happily chew it and break it to bits until it was so small you thought, ok, now she wants me to throw it. Reaching down to grab it she would bite your hands. Awesome. Still haven't figured out the point of that game yet. We had to table it with the little kids around.
Before kids were added to the mix, we did something much worse for her. We added Angus to the mix. She accepted him with an air of: "What the hell is this thing?" She tolerated him her whole life long, from his wanting to steal her ball, to his annoying barks as she swam (we still think he barked "stroke, stroke!") to his constant humping of her whenever we locked them in the same crate together in the car. Poor Otter. Through all of this, we know she loved him. Probably because first and foremost he loves her more than anything in this world I am sure. He is a bit upset now to say the least, and who knows what the coming weeks will hold for him too.
When we got our new home, in Hampton Falls, Otter was a mess. She peed on our bed at least once a week and was a constant whiner. Finally our trainer told us that it is most likely stress, as now she has so much more space - both inside and out - to protect. Peeing on the bed was her way of marking her territory, and what more central and important a place than where her owners sleep? This is just another example of how much Otter loved, and how much her love most of the time ended in me being pissed off… The whining, the licking, the peeing, the need to catch the ball, wore on me the most and bothered me only. People might also remember my yell of "Otter!" almost as much as they remember the dog herself. A guest at the lake once told me the whine is fine, it is the yelling I can't handle. She knew I loved her, and I know she loved me. We just had a mother-daughter relationship sometimes.
My husband ;loved Otter more than words can express, so I will let his words try to express them here. Here is what he posted on Facebook: "Today I lost one of the great loves of my life, my dog Otter. She went to sleep one last time with both Drew and I by her side. Otter, you were my first, my best friend, and my beautiful girl. Most people will remember you for your amazing leaps into Sebago Lake and the way you always brought that ball back. It was a sight to see; your trademark. I however, will remember you most for those impeccably timed licks of my face whenever I really needed it, the tough times, when you were always there for me, not the easy ones, those were, well, easy. The irony of this is not lost on me, that today, the day I need one of those licks the most, you are not here to give it to me. I will always love you and am eternally grateful for all you gave me. So rest in peace girl, and hold on tight, for in a few short months the ashes of your death will be spread in the lake where you taught me and so many others how to truly live. Thank you to all our friends and family who always loved Otter as if she was their own."
But, this brings me to the point that makes me the saddest and the happiest. Otter has never been much of a cuddler. Any photos of cuddling here are clearly forced cuddling. This is part of the reason why we got Angus. I am guess when she saw that angle of Angus she was releaved. However, there were two times in my life and hers that Otter, unprompted, got up on the couch and voluntarily laid her head down on my belly - and both times I was pregnant and did not know it which each boy. This cannot be made up, but I remember both times clearly, she sat with me for 20 minutes or more and looked at me and then got down.
The movie Marley and Me always gets me, of course at the end - but the worst when the Mom is just laying down to get a nap after putting her boys to bed - and Marley barks at the garbage man. Jen Aniston then gets up and freaks out and insists they need to get rid of the dog. This was me for a long time after the birth of each of my boys. I was not nice to her then. The whining and the barking was not tolerated by me. I will always be sorry about this. I know she forgave me and knew I didn't mean to yell. But it was a hard time.
We chose to let her go today because we wanted to remember how much we love her as an active and happy dog, and that is what we are going to do. So, no more sad talk here. I will remember all the fun times that we had with her. I will remember how much she loved pizza crust, and how if she was wearing her life vest I could grab her loop at the top and she would tow me in at the lake. I remember how well she listened when we were on walks and how her tail would thwap around when she was happy. I will remember the noise that she made - nervous and excited - when at the Drs office. I will remember that she kissed my boys a lot. And that they loved her a ton too.
I love you, my boogie. Will miss you always.
So sorry, Drew! What a sweet post.
ReplyDelete