Ummmm... Formula

Yes kids you read it correctly, formula. The day is upon us. Tomorrow is F-day! It has been 4 months (or will be on Friday). Friday morning he has a Drs appointment, so I figure if we try it tomorrow and anything happens, we are going to the Dr right away, no problem.

Monday night he stopped latching altogether. I had been planning on introducing formula the end of this week, so I think of it as like his final OK. He stopped latching during the day 8 weeks ago, but would latch when he woke up for midnight feedings. But now, no more. Also, my days of sneaking in only 3 or 4 pumpings have caught up with me and I am now only pumping about 20 ounces a day, while the little one is up to eating 30. So, I am ready (and my freezer supply is ready) for some supplementation! I still feel guilty, for sure. But, I am trying to feel proud that I made it this far, especially with my tough guy. Though, you can't blame him - would you want to go suck on your mom's boob right now? The new plan is to try to give him some boobie juice until he is 6 months old.

Today we had a great day visiting Newburyport with Declan and Declan's mom. Lots of shopping, and those expensive Trumpette socks got me again. They make them in 1 year old size... They look like sneakers and even have ribbon shoelaces, but they are socks. LJ had to have them, and he also had to have the hat pictured above. Declan got the hat too - so they are twins.

Newburyport is a hub for the SAHM. Big hub. And, a flashy stroller place too. They all seem to converge outside the Starbucks, where they park their uppababy and bugaboo strollers outside and run in to grab a latte. This, followed by some walking around, and then purchasing expensive socks and hats. I sadly fit in a little too well.

It was a great fall afternoon, though I can't wait until our photos are no longer involving the car seat! In other news, I found a job - a good one to apply to, that I am sure I could snag (the confidence is frightening, eh?). It is a part-time Director of Development position for a very deserving non-profit that sadly has nothing to do with my main passions of arts, conservation or puppies. It is 15 hours a week, work from home. This I figure would still keep me in the field at a manageable time table.

After further scrutiny of the job description I have come to realize that it is 15 hours a week - because that is all they can pay for - but the job would require probably about 40 hours of work. It was work from home, because they can't afford an office - but I would inevitably need to leave to meet with donors at least twice a week. I would clearly loose money on the low pay, and the need to put LJ in day care. I always kind of figured this, but looking into day care costs this week confirmed it for me. I actually feel relief. Like I am doing the best thing for me and my family at this time. So, I am very thankful that this came along to teach me this. It took me visualizing going back to work to realize I really am not ready yet. Nor is it really feasible for us.
But, on the flip side... how will I get back into it a few years from now? Maybe when it is time for me to re-enter I will pick a new profession. It would be like starting over anyway, right? What do you think, dentistry? teaching? real estate? massage therapist? I am partial to interior decorating.