Growing Up Too Fast

I know, I know. I complain a ton about how I am not going to miss this time. I can't wait till they are both older. I am tired of the baby thing. I know. But this week we have made huge strides at moving up in the world and it has given me just a slight, small, tiny appreciation for the fact that my baby is not going to be a baby for long.

First of all, it has always been my goal (since Joel Andrew) to Boobie feed for 6 months. (this will be brief on the boobie feeding). We all know I only made it to 4 for Joel Andrew. So, I thought, let's try to make it to 4 for James. Well, in less than 2 weeks James is going to be 6 months old. I would hazard a guess to say we have made it. Remarkable really. I pat myself on the back. Now what to do? I tried feeding him an ounce of formula two days ago, to no avail... I would honestly just stick with the boob because at this point it is a breeze. 5-8 minutes and he is done, 5 - 6 times a day. No bottle cleaning, and I get to watch TV or play on my phone while doing it. If I had to bottle feed him I might have to - Gasp! - pay attention to him! This is the reward time Mom's get for going through the hard first months of boobie feeding, and I am seriously thinking about throwing it all away. For a few very good reasons, really.

1. I am not getting any calmer. I am ready for my hormones to go back to normal, it has been roughly three years now (with a brief 7 month period in between last boobie feeding and being pregnant) that I have been an emotional roller coaster. I am hoping that the end of hormones going like mad will also be an end to my craziness. Ironically, I have been prescribed medicine to help me with my anxiety. But, I should not take it while breastfeeding. But I cannot relax while breastfeeding. Hmmm.

2. My pump broke. I am not going to buy another $300 pump, and the hand pump, will not cut it.

3. I am going to Las Vegas for 6 lovely days with just my husband at the end of November. I will be dammed if I will bring a pump there with me.

and 4. I did a great job, I am overly impressed with myself. Baby James clearly has a great foundation. I do not feel guilty at all about stopping, and nothing Mrs. Obama or Mrs. Tom Brady can say will make me feel otherwise.

But.... I hate the smell of formula and washing bottles... So we will see.
How did I get sidetracked? Ah, yes. Back to growing up. Do you see my less than 6 month old doing push-ups? How about getting on his knees? This is followed by rocking, and then an attempt at a crawl. He will certainly have the crawling thing down in no time. I am amazed at how quickly he is doing these things, his brother was just rolling from side to side by now. James is sitting up. He is ready to move. Joel Andrew gave him an even more terrified look than I did when he saw him get to his knees this morning. It was as if Joel Andrew was saying: "wait, you are going to move? are you going to grab MY things?"
And, Joel Andrew has been busy growing too fast too. The things he says, like Bill Cosby always says, are the darndest things. He is very smart, very affectionate. But very independent. He wants to do things himself. When we are at Gymboree or when he is in school, he is happy if other kids are around, but equally happy if they are not. He wants to do his own thing. Right now this seems cool. But, I hope he gets into friends soon. I know he loves his one friend Declan, but they do not get to see each other that often.
I have also made Joel a little OCD. I like to give him a sense of routine, and for him to understand the order of things because I think it helps toddlers in general deal with their surroundings. First we go to Gymboree, then we get Quesadilla, then we have a nap. Joel likes to repeat the order to me and he does not tantrum at all because it is like he knows what to expect. But, if you were to change anything up, it is like his whole world has come down. Again... this is a normal toddler thing, right? Or am I OCDing my kid into the crazy class?
Here my two boys are in their Halloween PJs. I can't believe how big they are going to be next year this time. The baby thing, the bottle, learning to crawl will all be a distant memory.