Not Sleeping

So, James has been a little turd lately and not sleeping up to my standards. His brother has set the bar high, so I do expect a ton. I have been looking over two books, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (the Ferber guy) and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth). I have also polled many friends via Facebook on their child's sleeping habits, and am ready with an attack plan for James. He will not know what is coming...

Basically, I want the kid to sleep 11 hours at night. If he wants to still wake me up to eat, even though the butterball is pushing 17 pounds and is almost 4 months (when we did CIO with Joel Andrew), I will feed him. I just want him to go BACK to sleep. The little butterball thinks that 4:30am is wake up time. So not cool.

As with Joel Andrew, we have instilled bedtime routines, and swaddle (well, actually 1/2 swaddle. I leave the left arm out for the thumb... he is not a paci man and I have no aversion to letting the guy use the thumb, blog for another time). As with Joel Andrew, we have black out shades. When it was time for Joel Andrew to sleep through the night, he would. It took two-three difficult nights, but he made it. He was a pain, waking me up every two hours just to play. James, however, wakes, eats and then wants to play at 5am. 5 am cannot be his true wake-up time? Right?

After polling many, I found that most all of my friend's kids sleep 10-1/2 - 11-1/2 hours a night! So, my conclusion is that so should James. Of all of my friend's whose kids slept less than 11 hours a night, they all seemed to have additional issues - like needing an extra tuck-in or something like that. I am hoping to avoid this altogether and is one of my main reasons for sleep training so young. I maybe generalizing here, but I wonder the longer you wait, the more potential for them to fight you on this...

After reading the books, and through friends' advice, I came up with the following plan. It is Day 2, and he has already slept till 6:45, this morning, in his crib with only one wake-up. Now that I wrote about it, it will not happen again... but, let's hope getting him on a nap pattern is a key. Mommy needs her sleep. Even though I go to bed at 9pm, once he wakes me up it takes forever for me to get back to sleep. I am a tired girl.

Desired schedule (14 hours of sleeping):

7:00 Wake up

9:30 – 10:30 Nap

12:30 – 1:30 Nap

4:00 – 5:00 Nap

7:30 Bedtime Routine

8:00 Bedtime

Bedtime Routine: 2^nd to last feeding, take a bath, diaper, close blinds, lower lights, last feeding, get into Pjs, start humdifier, music, ½ swaddle.

Eventually move last feeding before bath and replace last feeding with reading a book (by 5 months, start by having Joel put to bed with one feeding bottle 2-3 times per week, start now by stopping feeding as soon as he falls asleep and try to wake him up to eat more. Must wean him off falling asleep while eating), also no swaddle only sleep sack by 5 months too. Eventually have bath, reading with brother and go to bed at same time (goal, by 6 months, down to two naps and both on 7:30 – 7 schedule).

Naps: Shoot for three naps in the beginning. Shoot for some in the car (needs to be able to car nap), and some in the crib, but most can be in the swing to keep schedule in the beginning. However, by 5-6 months old, when moving to two naps, they need to be in the crib. No use of swing after 6 months old.

Week 1: Move bedtime immediately up to 7:30, by the end of the week 8. Start solid bedtime routine. Start nap schedules rigidly, immediately. Feed only once per night, between the hours of 3:30 – 6:00, use swing to get back to sleep if necessary. Make sure is awake by 7am if using swing. The goal is to use the swing as much as necessary to adhere to the schedule above. By Friday he is purely on this schedule and has been for a few days.

Weekend 1: On full schedule by now. 1 feeding per night; no more swing back to sleep. Use CIO in crib until 7am. Or, wake up from crib by 7:30am (if CIO puts back to sleep later). Continue with schedule as per usual.

Week 2: Continue with CIO for 7am…

If not done by end of the week, CIO Labor Day Weekend at home, with NO middle of the night feedings. Continue as long as possible, explore nap tweaking down to two if that is more helpful. Get weight at Breastfeeding Support Group and call Dr. Lamm if not working Tuesday after Labor Day Weekend- medically necessary for eating? How many naps a day should they have? What to do?

If completed by the end of the week, keep feeding as long as he routinely goes back to bed. Labor Day away, CIO if need to in new place. Continue with this pattern through Jennie’s wedding. After Jennie’s wedding, talk to Dr. Lamm at scheduled appt about 2 vs 3 naps; cutting out last middle of the night feeding; removing swaddle, and how to move last evening feeding sooner/introduce food.

MY RULES

If my child wakes up later than 6:30, that is not so bad and I will take it. But before 6:30 I will not accept it.

If my child wakes up and does not eat, or only eats a little bit, I will start to phase out night eating sooner.

If my child falls asleep while eating I will not let him sit there while I play solitaire, instead I will wake him to eat more or put him right back down to sleep.

If my child is screaming, I can always put the monitor on Joel Andrew very loud. No need to intervene unless Joel Andrew is being disturbed.

Husband help:

- Sleep CD for James (same as Joel Andrew).

- Once regulated, Put James to bed at least 2 times a week with a bottle, mom takes Joel Andrew, or goes out.

- Once regulated, Have me put both to bed once a week and you go out.

- Wake up with them both once a week and let me sleep until 8/9 if it is possible. (you can include grandparent wake up time as this).

- Move James’ blind so it is not so light on one side.