I am generally excited about going back to work. In a few weeks I will be rejoining my old place of job, in a more senior position. This is super exciting and I am ready for the challenge, thrilled to be back with my old co-workers (and new ones since there has been some change since I have been gone), and have an exciting mix of knowing what to expect since I worked there, but changing things up since they are in a neat transition period and I will be in a new position to boot. It really is an awesome mix and I could not have asked for more for going back to work. Well, I could have asked for all this and part time, but that wasn't going to happen.
So, I am not sad for Joel Andrew. He is already in "school" 3 days a week, and loves it. He is thriving there and they love him too. I know an additional two days a week will be a transition for him and I too, but I am not too worried about it. He does well on routine, and this will be even more of a routine then we have now. He will be good.
James will be good too. The one time we put him in daycare thus far (on the ski mountain) he loved it. Did not even know I left, or care when I came back. Kids, toys, new people to flirt with, he was in heaven! The exact opposite of when Joel Andrew first went to daycare. We went to see where he will be today and I think he wanted to stay there. I told his teachers that he sleeps 4 hours during the day each day and they better not mess him up (the only bummer of the ski place daycare was that James did not nap, at all there). They assure me they just go with my schedule, until he turns one. He will have a good 6-8 weeks of our schedule, continued, but at this new place with new friends. I know he will love it.
But I am super sad. I will miss my little man. Don't get me wrong, I will miss Joel Andrew too - but I am super sad about missing my little man. We have the best days together when Joel Andrew is at school. When Joel goes off, James and I play together. I am trying to teach him to clean up (by putting shapes back in his little bucket), but he does not seem to like this at all, and prefers just to dump things out. He then naps the rest of the morning, and I get stuff done (blogging, album making, travel plans, laundry, cleaning, etc). He wakes up and we go on our excursion which is usually errands but he does not care because he just likes being out and seeing things and people. He loves the supermarket, he loves shopping carts of any kind. On the way home from our excursion we pick up lunch, eat together at home and then he naps, while Mommy is supposed to be getting dinner ready but usually ends up on Pinterest or napping herself. These days are lovely. Relaxing. We have fun together. He is my buddy.
I know that things will change shortly anyway. He will get older and no longer like shopping. He will someday no longer nap. I will not be able to be on the computer anymore when he is around. But I still like him, he is my buddy. My husband says I baby him too much. I think I am just making up for me not being so nice to him in the beginning when I had a tough go of it.
I just keep thinking that going back to work will be good for all of us. I will miss my days with both boys, our excursions out - but I know we can continue these days through vacation time and weekends. What I will miss the most (and ironically the reason that drives me back to work the most) is focusing entirely on them, what they are doing, what they are wearing, what they are eating. No doubt about it, when my new and very busy job kicks into high gear, I am not going to be able to coordinate outfits so often. I just have to remember all the time I have had with them, over two and a half years with Joel Andrew and almost 11 months with James Morris - all to myself, and be thankful. Of course, I need to put things in perspective too... I will still see them first thing when they wake up and last thing before they go to bed, and all throughout the weekends too. (I am hoping my job will not go crazy with weekend events, hint, hint job people who are reading this!)... They will still have their Mommy and I will still have them, we will just all need to adjust.
In the meantime, Baby James and I are going to enjoy one of our last days together, alone, without working Mommy.
You hit the nail on the head - it is hard not knowing what all their stories relate to or what they are doing all the time. But as they get older you can have (disjointed) conversations about what they've done. You also have to let stuff go and have plenty of down time in the evenings. I like having a nanny for that reason - less housework to do. I just have to feed myself and pick up my crap and I can watch TV and enjoy the time with my kids. The stress of packing all the gear every day for daycare. <> I can barely get myself out of the house. You also have to learn to leave work at work, something I'm much beter at with my new job. And unless there is a big family situation going on I leave my kids at home (I try not to check in and don't put up photos). You'll be way more tired at night so you wont' blog (the reason my blog is basicially dead) as much or get side projects done. And weekends can feel long and guilt ridden if you want to take time for yourself and/or you are annoyed at a kid antic, tyring to do too much. Make sure you have one day at home with no errands to run (except during napptime). Just my two cents!
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