Help

A fellow blogger- who many of you know as their sister- recently posted about the challenges of raising a baby/toddler - and the parenting that needs to go along with it. Is it more difficult to raise a level-headed only child? What do we do when our child is throwing food, constantly? Is this behavior the sign of worse things to come? Well, it was like someone wrote down my own thoughts. I had to commiserate. I bet you somewhere there are some sort of blog rules that state: "When responding to someone's blog post, you are to only offer support or advice. You are not to discuss your own problems." Well, I clearly fail at following blog procedure, as my "support and/or advice" really comes off more as - "please figure this out and tell me what I am supposed to do":

"I am an only child and I think I share well. Well, I do not share food well. Which is ironic for this post, and especially since J is doing the exact same thing with the food now. Literally, I almost cried the other night. I cannot handle his refusal of cereal and mushed foods, his throwing of finger foods. He refuses the bottle too (we only get it in the morning, and one at 5 now - that is it). When he refuses the food it drives me mad and immediately I think we are raising a brat.

I am so worried about raising a bratty child. As I like to say, I am awesome, and so was my dad - so how did we get away with being excellent only children? (are you smiling and my only-child-smugness here?)... There is a good chance J will be an only too. So, I guess I am just really sensitive to his tantrums and fits, especially since he is only 10 months old. We were at a kid's gym the other day and he was whining and crying for no reason. I guess it is the teeth. But I need help. I feel I especially need help because it is just me. I need professional help!

OK, this is YOUR blog, not mine. But I needed to vent, and perhaps also let you know that I am counting on you to figure all of this out for me and post it so I do not have to worry. Drew"

Ok, so now that we are back to my blog, so I can vent larger, right? I am really getting worried. I say this to Joel all the time - J is exhibiting more and more signs of bratty behavior. I am embarrassed at play group, Gymboree, or the Baby Gym now because he is just whining and crying. The whiny brat noise. Really bad. I know, as you are reading this you are thinking "I wonder where he gets this from... Mom, quit your own whining." But, it is making me nervous. Am I raising a bratty monster?

Joel also likes to say things like: "It is because you do everything for him." Which I find untrue. Perhaps it is because I do not do enough. If he is whining in the stroller, I give him a toy or a bink and I keep going. My other mom friends would sensibly take their child out and carry them. Or is that not sensible? I am not sure. Either way, their child has stopped whining and mine is driving me batty!

Perhaps it is just a phase. Please people, tell me this is a phase. I HATE the noise and it makes my blood boil. I cannot handle it. It might be a phase because at the Gyms and playgroups I really think he is whining at his desire to move all around. He sees the other kids running and wants to as well. But as for food. Someone please explain this to me - the kid is a major pain with the food! Whines when we give him the bottle. Refuses cereal and mushed foods now. Now is picky with finger foods (peas, blueberries and tofu are pretty much the only things he will eat right now! - Oh, and of course, grilled cheese). He sticks his little hand in his shredded cheese, pasta, banana, or avocado, mushes it in, then bats it back and forth across his plate painting his high chair in a color as if to say I wish we had 1950s appliances. He sends pieces of food flying across the floor for the doggies to fight over. When we scold him, he laughs! The little booger just laughs in our faces! AHHHHHH. The two of us are at a loss for words. Joel is exhausted from his day of work, and I am tired of the whining, so we don't do anything further. We don't know what to do! I could take the entire plate away, but then I get worried he hasn't eaten anything. I know, after a few meals of not eating, he might learn how to eat better. But is that right too?

There must be a book. Though I swore off book reading since each time I read "professional baby help/advice" I just get more paranoid and worried that I am doing everything wrong. Or, that my child has some rare disease. Or, that I poisoned him by feeding him berries too early. Any thoughts on how to be more patient, how to raise a less bratty child?

I guess I am really super concerned as well because it is just me. There are no other people watching him, people with experience (i.e. Nannies or day care providers) that can offer help or advice, or who have experience raising children and know what to do and what not to do. I feel lost at times and wish I had this support. And, as these doubts are percolating in my mind - other children in daycare who are more advanced in milestones than mine; a segment on the Today show stating that a longterm study shows children in daycare advance in school further than those with SAHMs... all of these things have me double-questioning my whole choice to stay at home in the first place!

I guess I should just chalk this up to a few bad days at the office. But, I still need help. I should end with a lighter note. J has now figured out how to crawl like a big guy. Joel and I laugh because although he is good at crawling like a big boy, he knows it does not bring him as much speed as his army crawl, so when he really wants to book it he goes splat on his belly and hauls across the floor. He is also constantly saying "Dada" or "Mama" and shaking his head no. Still no signs of waving, clapping or peek a boo...