First Dance Class

Joel Andrew participated in his first dance class yesterday.  He asked to go to dance class.  I have been trying to get him to be interested in some sort of class and have asked him about karate, ice skating, soccer, swimming, etc - and he said no to all of them.  But, the other week when he was having such a good time dancing at the liquid fireworks at Jordan's, I asked him if he wanted to go to dance class and he responded yes!

I signed him up at the place down the street from us, where I took tap classes just after Joel Andrew was born. I hear they can be pretty strict, there are tons of girls in pink tights running around with buns in their hair.  I hear the teachers get upset if they do not have the perfect costume on…  However, it is close, I have been there before and I figure we should go for the gold if we are going for it.

I picked him up from daycare early and the entire car ride there I was talking to him about what class would be like.  I told him he would not have tap shoes yet because we are just testing to see if he even likes the class before I buy shoes.  I explained tap shoes to him and he was even more excited.  Metal bottoms that make noise when you brush and stamp your feet?  Yes, please! The whole way there he kept asking if the dance place was the next building on the street.  When we got there he was wide-eyed and excited.

It did not seem to bother him that there were only girls running around. It was costume week and of course I put him in his Lloyd Christmas costume.  He looked handsome and ready to go.  The dance school people were psyched.

His class is of course all girls.  But he was fine.  I was dismayed to learn that they close the door to the class and the Moms just sit outside, reading their books or playing on their phones.  You - the parent - are not allowed or invited to look in on any part of the class.  I guess part of the strict nature of it all, we really aren't even allowed to take one peek.  I mentioned to another mom how I might, and she looked at me like I would get my head bit off if I disobeyed the rules.  So, I sat in my chair and heard him giggle, heard them hopping around, and heard the music - Ghostbusters, to name one. I knew he would love it.

I tried to make minor chit chat with the other moms.  Remember that we started the class 1/2 way into the season, so all the moms already have their routine.  They make small chatter and then they read their book.  My small comments here and there were not really welcome, so I started reading my book.  Me, sitting around for 40 minutes, waiting for my son to be done with his activity, I read my book.  I have a feeling this is the first in a long line of me doing this.  I think I need to embrace it.

At one point a nervous mom walked in with her daughter, 10 minutes late.  The daughter did not have a costume.  The mom was freaking out.  The daughter went in and the mom continued to freak out.  Of course, all of this freaking out was breaking the cone of silence which clearly annoyed the other moms. I stopped it by pointing out I was clearly the worst mom in the room as my son was dressed up as Jim Carey from Dumb and Dumber.  She smiled and then we all went back to reading.

There was some discussion, don't get me wrong.  Lots of discussion (not me, but the moms around me) about the kid's Halloween party at daycare and what snack each mom was making.  There were other kids there too - siblings who were all dressed ready to go to their activity which I can only assume would be the next stop on the bus.  One Mom asked me what daycare my child went to and when I told her, her response was: "Oh, we went there, but we stopped going…"  Clearly our daycare was unacceptable to her firsthand.  Interesting.

I noticed one thing about the conversation and the air in the room.  It just felt different from my usual gatherings with other parents. These were career moms.  And, when I say this I don't mean stay-at-home moms, which some of them may have been too, who knows.  I do not mean working moms either. I mean career moms like their first priority at all times is their child and their child's activity. I make it sound bad, I don't mean too - it was just my first exploration into the world of Moms taking their kids to things.  I know this happens, I worked with many a career mom and heard the stories about endless carting to things, having to make the themed cupcakes perfect for school, and stressing over the need to get to 4 birthday parties in one day.  I never got it, and I still don't.

We as a family pride ourselves on the philosophy: our kids go to things because we want them too, not because they need or have to.  My children are not neglected, and believe me, they get plenty their way, they get out and about, they discover and enjoy new things and they get to learn and have fun.  But at the head of all this fun is always the primary decision makers - my husband and I.  Case in point, they wore orange and blue suits yesterday as part of Halloween.

We do not do soccer every Saturday.  We do what we (husband and I) want to do.  Joel will be skiing this winter because it works for us.  He is 4, we are 34.  We get to decide. I was in a room with Mom's who do what their kids want to do, and what they think is best and central to their kids life -- all the time.  I am not sure we will operate this way.  We are too selfish.  Joel Husband and I bought Disney Vacation Club first and foremost because WE like to go to Disney.  We are excited to share this with our children.  I love to share museum's with my children.  I am just not sure if I am ready yet to have my children start calling the shots and my life be about carting them from one activity to another, not being able to have our weekends because they have practice after practice.  When I was a kid I went where my parents told me to go - and I turned out ok?  When did it change and the kids rule the roost?

I guess at the end of the day, whatever works best for your family is key.  And, for mine I am still in charge…  I wonder if this will all change with kindergarten around the corner. The goal for me is to raise happy, confident, thoughtful and respectful children who embrace their own likes and talents and learn to accept others.

Sidebar aside, back to the story at hand.  Joel Andrew loved class.  He begged to go back. We went to buy him tap shoes, and the lady asked him what color he wanted.  He responded: "purple with sprinkles!"  As they do not make that color, he ended up with black, but he is still thrilled.  Embrace it, Joel Andrew.  I love you.

Daycare, other moms, even the dance school itself were all surprised that this little guy wanted to go to dance class and loved it.  He is 4, why is this surprising?  Joel Husband has been really good about it but when he starts to tease I immediately give him the death stare.  If this is what the kid likes, let him have fun, once again - he is 4!  I am so happy to take him to an activity that he chose and loves.  And I will continue to do so!  But not every day all day!